Question regarding young adults and clothing
I don't know how many parents are on Steptalk but I just want to ask until what age do you believe parents should provide their children with clothing. One of my boyfriend's sons is 17 right now and I thought at 18 my boyfriend was going to stop supporting him. He buys expensive clothes for him because that's what his son likes and he was always spoiled. And my boyfriend tells me: "Well, he's just a teenage boy and you know how they are. They want nice things". I totally get it and it doesn't bother me. After all, it's his money but I really thought this was going to stop after high school.
Today he told me he will continue buying his boy clothes during his college years too. And expensive brand clothes because the boy needs to look presentable. So it kind of shocked me because literally his sons depend on him for everything, even their cellphones are payed. From college, cellphone, clothes. They rely 100% on their parents. My parents still provided me with clothing after 18 but I also had money for myself because I started working when I was a Junior in High school and I didn't asked mommy and daddy for clothes, unless they wanted to buy me by their own choice. Parents what are your thoughts about all this???? Until what age will this stop?
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I am not a parent, but times
I am not a parent, but times have changed in this area, a lot. I also was expected to work and buy myself clothes, etc, though my parents did pay for tuition.
I don't think it's outrageous for him to help his kids, but I'd want to know his plan for helping them become self-sufficient.
You keep basically asking the same question
You keep basically asking the same question - which is should your SO continue to support his children after they turn 18? The answer is that given his current financial situation, he should not be supporting his grown children.
The question for you should be why do you want to consider a long term relationship with a man who is not financially stable and has no plans to change his behavior?
I send money to my college
I send money to my college age son every month and still pay his cell phone. My kid gets scholarship money too so he buys the bulk of his stuff himself. I think it's reasonable to still support your kids while they are going through higher education. In the end the idea is that they'll be able to get a better job and higher income. I never got this from my own family but am happy I can help my kids this way.
I agree with the fact that
I agree with the fact that there's nothing wrong with buying your kids clothes. My mom buys me clothes too but because she wants to. But in this case, his son has never bought himself anything from his own expense. Everything comes out of daddy's pocket. Even when he goes out with his girlfriend my BF hands him money. It's a little ridiculous to me. I mean, he might have a hard time later in life managing money if he's used to expensive clothes bought by his dad without him lifting a finger.
The only thing you can
The only thing you can control is how you raise your own children. SO will hand OSD everything she wants and she doesn't have to do anything to deserve it other than exist.
DS does get everything he wants also, but he does all the chores around the house and struggles academically because of a learning disability but is holding good grades. He also does sports as well.
When he turns 14 I am making him work summers at my aunt's farm so he can learn to respect a hard days work. But for every dollar he earns and saves I will match it in an account towards a car when he is 16.
DS will learn on his own as he has the difference between a kid who is handed everything and one who earns it. SO will never be able to afford to buy SD a car because he doesn't save and spends all his money frivolously on her. She will never work because she is too pampered. She is too lazy to even go to the nurse to get her working papers.
I don't even see SD getting a lisence because that would require her doing something for herself.
Everyone rags on YSD but her and I have a good relationship. She respects me and what I do for her. As long as she continues that way I would be willing to help her out. I anticipate she will want to get a job when she is old enough. She is not lazy or pampered.