Please tell me if this is normal or I’m crazy.
Hi
i've been posting here a lot because I literally have so many problems with the stepsons. It's crazy!!! And I can only vent here. I know I should be posting in the "adult stepchildren" forum but this forum seems more active.
My boyfriend pays for a cellphone plan where his adult sons (18 and 22) are included. Since my boyfriend still supports them financially, he has a lot of responsibilities. He can't afford to pay the cellphone bill when it's due. And if he doesn't pay, his sons won't help out pay either. And they use the service every month. So every single month his service is interrupted for days because he can't pay and his adult sons wait for dad to pay.
My boyfriend has even asked me to lend him money to pay for the monthly cellphone service. I was stupid and I helped him in the past because he wouldn't tell his sons to help financially. But I put a stop and I'm no longer helping him. So right now he's been without service since yesterday and his sons too. I feel like slapping him sometimes. Will he ever learn that his sons are adults and stop treating them like babies?? Am I crazy or do you find this normal?
Not normal
This is some seriously enabling behavior. Your BF deserves to be broke if he can't tell his adult sons to pay for themselves.
Just don't let him take you down with him.
It's crazy that he has made
It's crazy that he has made the CHOICE to take on an expense that he clearly can not afford.
It's also crazy that your BF doesn't have anyy savings to fall back on when he falls short. His lack of savings speaks to his financial insecurity.
In a similar boat...
I pay for half of a family plan and my step kids bio mom never pays. The kids are rude and dont communicate with me, yet always with her and their dad, and I've threatened to stop paying for any phones. My husband doesn't support my thoughts and I like having a phone myself. My step kids are younger, but the moment they turn 18 I am done. Cell phones were purchased for communication and good and its turned into the exact opposite. I feel for you because we all know disciplining step kids doesnt work.
Girlfriend. Cut that OFF. You
Girlfriend. Cut that OFF. You are not at all obligated to pay for that damn cell bill when the kids are disrespectful to you. It doesn't matter if your DH doesn't support your thoughts, it's your money and it's YOUR decision, ultimately. I would yank it so they can deal with their issues themselves. They would probably appreciate you more after seeing the help you used to provide.
your own plan?
I'm pretty stubborn. I'd just get my own plan. Let DH pay for his entire family and I'll pay for my own thankyouverymuch.
What I find crazy is that you
What I find crazy is that you are tolerating 2 unrelated adult males in your 1 bedroom appartment and they are not contributing financially, they are not helping around the appartment, they lie in their beds until mid afternoon (so I suppose you can't use the living room) and haven't kicked them out yet - worse, you are feeding the buggers. This isn't going to change as long as they have a cushy number going on. I'd have put the fear of god into your bf so that he gets on to them about earning ther keep and looking for another couch to surf ASAP! Do you own the appartment or do you rent?
While we're here, I'd just like to point out that if your bf hadn't given his son a credit card for his use until he found a job then perhaps his finances wouldn't be in this mess...
Please stop coming here and complaining about details that you hate if you are not going to do something about them! Yes, we are behind you, emphatically so, but you have to stand up for yourself. We are on your side, why are you not?
What I find crazy, is that
What I find crazy, is that you are with this guy and willing to put up with this entire situation.
My boyfriend works but he's
My boyfriend works but he's always short of money since he treats his adult sons like royalty. If he wants to pay their phone, that's fine but if he can't afford it I don't understand what's the big deal if he tells them: "I have too many bills. You will have to help me sometimes". Is it a crime to say that???
it seems like it is because my boyfriend doesn't mind being without service for days. And his lazy sons don't care either.
Not someone who is worthy to
Not someone who is worthy to be your equity life partner. If he can't pay even his phone bill he sure as shit won't have a retirement funded and you will be his sugar mama and sugar mama to his adult spawn.
Move on.