Re-define life after step hell
I am trying to define my life. I have catered to everyone else's needs for so long that I don't even know who I am when I don't have people who 'need me' or take from me. Can anyone relate to the feeling that, even if you left step hell, lived on a tropical island with all the margaritas you want, somehow staying wins over the island? This has been such a long pattern of doing for everyone else (and convincing myself I like it and am fine, and don't need much), that I don't know how to do anything else.
I continue to prepare to 'leave'. It's an enormous job to do by myself with the entire house to sort and manage. (Also the logistics of moving out of state, with my pets...4 furry babies.
SIDEBAR* I am cleaning out all of the clutter in my home and have a very large amount to put in a garage sale. I have been selling things individually using free classifieds and I get the best price this way. A garage sale means liquidation, cheap sale time. The volume of stuff I have to sell is getting big and I just can't list each item individually, simply out of anxiety, boredom and the tedium. Suggestions? I do want to build a little nest egg as I prep to leave.
Sometimes I just don't have the vision I need to make any serious changes. I am always in the pattern of telling myself that a situation that is unacceptable to me is acceptable. (Raised in an alcoholic home anyone? Yes.)
I have good and bad days where sometimes I get a lot done and other times, I try to sleep through the day.
Yes I go to counseling and am
Yes I go to counseling and am going to be very assertive with my shrink about discussing co-dependency etc.
hen making a move to change
hen making a move to change in your life you need to ask yourself some simple questions...
Why do I want to change?
What do I want to change from?
What do I want to change into? Do I want to change everything, or are some things working...
and...How do I make the change?
You cannot leave these questions unanswered or vague and expect to be able to make a real change. Anyone who experienced and Alcoholic parent should investigate abandonment issues...
You should not let your identity hinge on anything except who your Maker Created you to be...this too, takes time to search out...but is totally worth the effort...Peace.
You are 80% there onelife....
You are 80% there onelife.... you made the decision to leave..... can't give up now.
Simply do the garage sale, get friends to help and the aim is to get as much as possible stuff gone for a good price.
I would not price things, I would simply play it by the ear... and whom ever is selling an item can determine the price, surely you have a close friend or 2 that knows why you are doing it and about your plans.... they will not give it away for free, they will try and get the best price
Then start planing your future... draw up sort of a bucket list thing, things you want to do when you are single...
travel (even if it's to the next town), taking a cooking/sewing glass.... what ever you want Hon, the sky is the limit.
If I lived in your town I would've come over and helped you with that garage sale thingy... and I would've brought wine
It's not always easy to say good bey to the known and hello to the unknown... but it's most times the best thing to do