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Really???? Your kidding me right?

newbie88's picture

Sooooooo BM seriously has something wrong in her head. This woman literally drives me crazy and I wish she would go somewhere VERY far away and leave SS with us!

My SO and I have been together for 2 years now and we've gone strong since the beginning, never have we given anybody any reason to think that there was a chance we were going to break up. BM is in a relationship with another guy so I am not too sure why she is concerned what is going on in our relationship. She is ALWAYS asking my SO how things are going with us, if he sees us staying together and things along these lines. He pretty much just ignores what she says half the time but it pissed me off that this b*tch is asking these ridiculous, none of her business questions!

Yeah ok I get it, she may not be over him. I mean they were together for a while and have a child together and she sees SS every day and he looks sooooo much like his father so it is probably hard to have to look him and know you are no longer with his BD. BUT there comes a time in your life, especially when you are involved with another person yourself, that you get the hell over it. She wants to do EVERYTHING with us, she wants to go to the zoo with us, and to the park and the beach and dinner. UMMMMM, NO B*TCH!!!

A few times we have all been together and I have caught her staring at my SO. I know she isn't looking at SS because he is no where near them when she is staring. We went out for his birthday, BM is sitting across the table staring at my SO while her BF is sitting right beside her! Really b*tch, have some class!!!

It literally drives me mad, I brought it up to my SO and he said he has seen her staring at him too. I mean he can't really be like "UM STOP LOOKING AT ME". I obviously think he's hot so I mean I can understand it to a certain extent but keep you damn eyes off my man. My SO laughs because he would never go back to that level EVER in his life. Example tonight he was telling me I am the most amazing thing to ever come into his life Smile but still....I just needed to vent!

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Why are you hanging out with her? She is not a part of your family. SS is a part of your family...take him out for his birthday with your family only.
BM can take him out on her time. Win Win....kid gets two celebrations....you don't have to see BM again until SS, graduates, gets married or some other public event. And at those you can nod and go on with dancing with your hot husband.
You do not have to socialize with the ex wife!

If she is drilling SS about your relationship then DH needs to tell her to stop. I am sure it must violate some court order about such things. Tell her it is none of her business. Tell SS that it is ok not to talk to her about his life with you and what you are doing with your DH and your relationship. It is all none of her business.

Be civil, be friendly even...but not familiar with the BM and ex's in your life. That is why they are ex's. Why would you want to spend one second with them?
Your DH got divorced from her for a reason!

RedWingsFan's picture

I'd totally eliminate her from your lives. There's NO, absolutely NO reason for her to be accompanying you on outings, dinners, parties, etc.

Why does your SO actually ALLOW her to be there?

~Mel

just tired's picture

I would rather stab myself in the eye than hang out with BM. She is trashy, classless and crazy. Why would I want to hang out with her? And why would my DH want to include her? He wanted a divorce from her, why keep her in his life?

So the question I think you should be asking yourself is this: why IS she being included?

SMof2Girls's picture

DH needs to set some boundaries and stick to them. You need to make it very clear to him what you are and aren't comfortable with. No more sweet nothings whispered in your ears .. you need to see clear and evident CHANGE.

Stepmom3 Bio1's picture

I have spent many an event with BM and BM's family...whether I liked it or not. We/I did it for the sake of the SKIDS. I wanted the SKIDS to see that their BM, DH and I could all get along. There were times I wanted to just rip her face off....but I didn't. BM and I tolerate each other. Of course BM would start talking to DH like they were still married, I bit my tongue. I refused to act like an ass in front of SKIDS, and I wouldn't give BM the pleasure of knowing she got to me.

SMof2Girls's picture

BM has suggested doing this with me and DH. She thinks if the skids see us together they'll know we all work together and can get along. Except, that's a lie.

The ONE time we agreed to meet up with her, she showed up with a mystery boyfriend and completely cold shouldered me the entire time (no biggie IMO). She also dropped the news that she was pushing back her move to TX so she could spend more time with the skids during the summer (during DH's pre-determined summer custody time). And of course said all of that right in front of them.

So my question is, is it better to pretend that things are great with the adults when they aren't? Or is it more an exercise of teaching skids to be adults/mature in situation that are difficult? I have since refused to meet BM at all. Just curious what your thoughts are!