S-Kids Disrespecting BM.
I am the SF to an 11 y/o SD and a 14 y/o SS. Their BD has moved to TX from OH six months ago. Before this he never put forth any extra effort when he did live locally to see them more than what the court had allowed. My S lives with his BM about an hour away and I have made that trip sometimes 3 times in a weekend to see him play BB or to watch him bowl.
But, here is the crap that REALLY irritates me. The SS and SD are SOOO disrespectful to their BM that it drives me insane. SD literally yells at her every morning just for telling her it was time to get up and SS argues when she asks him to do a simple <10 minute chore. So, I stand up to them and tell them that it is not right for them to do this especially when she does so much for them on a daily basis. While I was out of work for 9 months she would work no less than 5-10 hours OT each week to make sure the family was OK.
But, when I tell SS and SD these things I am being "mean" and "hateful" and "picking a fight" with them. After all the time I have spent trying to get them to open their eyes I am beginning to feel that they are incapable of caring about anyone but themselves, since that is just the way their BD is.
So, do I quit and just let DW deal with it on her own or do I continue to be the "strong arm" in the house. It has gotten really old not being able to go more than a couple of days without getting yelled at by one of the S-Kids.
What do some of you think??
Exhausted SF.....
Talk to your wife. See if the
Talk to your wife. See if the disrespect bothers her and if she wants you to back her up.
If it does come up with a plan together on how to handle it.
If it doesn't, the. Let it go.
If kids are disrespectful in
If kids are disrespectful in their home their disrespectful anywhere. Respect starts at home.
The age that they are at is a hard age to start putting down rules. Your wife has to be on board with the discipline. Ya'll need to be each others back up period. There needs to be certain punishments that fit the offense. The kids needs to be held accountable for their actions. Make a list of the chores that each child needs to do and what will happen if they don't do them. Routine is the best. Buy the kids alarm clocks for their rooms. But be sure they get up. At their age TV and phones is what gets the most attention.
If your home when they get home have them do their homework first. This should take all of 30 mins. Then let them do their on thing for 1 hour. Then they eat supper. Remember they where at school all day just like you where at work. Then they can do the chore for that day. If theres any arguing and fighting take away something. Make them keep their tv off (if its in their room). If they don't have a tv in their room,make them stay in their room with the door open. If you have a problem with them slamming the door. Take it off the hinges. I did this to my oldest daughter once, she had to earn the door back, by good behavior. My other kids never try that, LOL. My SS can't stand to be with out his TV he'll do anything in order not to have it taken away. So you have to figure out what that one something is that they really like. Remember don't go to the extreme. For arguing you could asked them to stop, when they don't just walk off. (Ignore them, kids hate to be ignored) Then when they ask for something simiply say NO! They'll say why and you say remember when and walk off. Don't stand there and listen to them justify why you wrong or they should have their way. Ignore them. If you do this enough it works. Routin and constitency works.