I think it would be almost impossible to not include her... especially if she lives with you guys most of the time... 

I am sorry, I can imagine that you would want this so be special for just you, your wife and new baby. Maybe suggest something with an ultra sound pic vs. a family type announcement?

This is a question that leads to a lot of others that will come up...

If you want to excuse your SD now how will you react when the child is born? SD will want to be involved. They are siblings. 

Believe me I understand your feelings. But now is the time to work through them. Or you are going to have a lifetime of resentment and zero enjoyment of your child. 

Acceptance is first. You need to accept SD is the sibling. Accept that she will have a full time position in the child's life. And accept that as much as you want a nuclear family that isn't the case and never will be. 

Then talk to your wife about how that looks. Maybe you need time without SD there to bond with the baby. Maybe it is a weekend a month. Or even two for the first year. Whatever it is you need to be clear. But remember she also has her own needs. And it cannot be one sided. 

I think you need to set sound boundaries with your wife and now is the time to do it. If you wait until your child is born, you're going to deal with your wife wanting the kid in the delivery room, or DW buying presents for her older kid every time your kid has a milestone. 

There are ways of making her older child feel included without putting her up on a pedestal as the No. 1 child. The whole vow thing has me worried she is going to go overboard trying to make sure princess knows mommy loves her best. 

I would look at some example announcements online, find some you like and show them to her. She will probably insist on having her older child in the announcement again and this is when you make YOUR feelings matter. This is your child, not SD's. Your desires should matter more than hers in all things related to YOUR child. If DW becomes demanding and dismissive of what you want, you will have a long, hard road with her for the next 18-20 years.

Many people include their kids in the announcement saying kid is excited about being a big sister!  If she included your child in the announcement would that make you happier?  Im literally just asking because if i had a pregnancy announcement, I'd definitely include my kids,  but I'd know If i excluded my sd dh would have a fit

I agree with Mrs Fireball.

SD will get her time to shine as a sibling. She does not to be included in the “Hey, we’re expecting!” announcement. That’s just weird, to be honest. 

I understand where you are coming from. But I also agree with everyone saying to speak to your wife about this ASAP.

I have already spoken to my SO about how I feel about special events...yes, if we get married, I will want SS involved one way or another. However, I will not be making vows to his son. SS is already involved in a lot of aspects of our lives, I would want our wedding (and our baby announcement, for that matter) to be focused on us.

It is not selfish, you are allowed to want something that is as special as this, to be about you and your wife. But you definitely need to speak with her and let her know where you stand. Things will not improve unless this is addressed, and I suggest you talk about this soon.

Compromise. 

Go with a you and wife announcing the expected arrival, follow up after birth with a you, wife and big sister have added our new arrival to our family.

You made a mistake in not speaking up about how you felt bout the wedding/marriage vows. Better to be thought the a**hole during a private discussion with the woman you are about to marry than to prove yourself an a**hole after the 'I do'. 

Your wife loves her daughter with all her heart, same as you will love your soon to arrive baby. No, you're not expected to 'love' your stepchild the same way you will/do feel about your own birth child. Marriage is between a couple. Getting with child is also between a couple. Adding a live baby to the family is a family addition. 

Watch out, next hurdle will be delivery. While some families do do 'family birth' setting, make sure your wife understands if you intend the birth to be a 'couple' event, with big sister there to join in later ( as in spending labor and delivery at a place such as grandma's and coming up to perhaps peek at baby after a bit of time for parent/couple new baby time and some recuperation). 

I understand your concerns. I would feel the same way in your situation. Here's what I'd do to get around it. I'd find a friend who's an amazing graphic designer, and ask them to make a very creative announcement graphic (maybe even animated), including an ultrasound picture, the message you want to convey, maybe even some quotes or verses of scripture if you and your wife like that. Maybe even do it timeline style "Met x-date, married y-date, bought house z-date, new arrival expected q-date". You get the idea. Maybe you do not even put pictures other than an ultrasound one, maybe one of you and your wife at each milestone. I'm not sure, just throwing ideas out. My point is, I would make this so creative she cannot say no to it, and you will not even have to have the uncomfortable conversation about your stepdaughter not being in it.

I think that is stupid to include siblings in a birth announcement even if they are full siblings from an intact marriage.   The siblings did not produce the baby.   Don’t get me started on the “WE are pregnant” crap.  Only the mother to be is pregnant. 

dont set some guide lines now, it’s going to be hell.  How old is SD?  Because you will be doing thing with baby that SD may of never done.  And she is going to see she not First.  Expecially if there a big age difference. Going to see animals, going to kiddy places, with s small rides. Ect  You do not need a mini mom 

I'm currently 8 months pregnant and went through this same thing with my DH.  The fortunate thing was that he has all of these ideas of things that he wants to do but doesn't follow through so I basically figured out what I wanted on my own.  He wanted to take a photo of SD with a sign or similiar saying I'm going to be a big sister and send it out to everyone.

What I finally ended up with was doing similiar but different things with both sets of our parents and friends.  This is the first grandchild for my parents (and possibly only grandchild) and I wanted to make this special for them.  I bought a card for my dad that included an ultrasound photo and a personal message and a bracelet for my mom that said grandma coming soon.  I had to mail this since they don't live close.  DH's parents received similiar items but he wanted SD to "announce" it to them so she gave them the items and told them.  I was present and thought the whole thing was very awkward and not at all what I would have chosen to do, however, it's what he wanted and at the end of the day it's his parents.  We told our friends separately. 

I'm not sure how well this scenario will work for you since your wife is so involved.  But it seems like veering away from the traditional announcement photos as other previous posters have mentioned above is a safe bet.  I really wanted pregnancy announcement photos but really couldn't figure out a way to get them done without SD (she has visitation only with her mother) and couldn't bear the thought of her in them - As a first time mom I wanted this to be a special time between my husband and I and it hasn't been what I've hoped for because he continues to be more concerned for SD than for me, even suggesting that she choose our son's name...

Yes SD will be the HALF sibling and will get her time to see/cuddle/play with the baby but why on earth would she be included in the pregnancy announcement? I fear you may have set a nasty precedent by including her in your wedding vows. There was certainly no mention of my 2 stepbrats when I married DH, I can tell you that for nothing!

I am also 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby. The thought of including those 2 jerks in my pregnancy announcement (I am not doing one as I have had previous losses) or when the baby arrives is sickening to me.

The stepkids don't know about the pregnancy yet and will no doubt have sour faces and make sh1tty comments when we tell them. Why then would I make some happy clappy announcement that includes them?! For both my sake and theirs it would just be fake. They are older at 16 and 17 though, not sure if that makes a difference.

Even if they were still foetuses themselves LOL they wouldn't be included in any announcement with this baby. NO, NO and NO.

I included Skids in my first announcement.  All it was was pairs of our shoes lined up with years we all were born (DH & I included) and then the year my son was born above the baby shoes.  So, they were in it, but they weren't in it - worked good for us.  The second just my bio son was in it - he wore a shirt that said he was going to be a big brother with the month/year my second son was due.  By then, my skids had made it VERY clear they did not approve of my pregnancies or wanting to have my own kids and they also didn't want anything to do with my kids. 

However, despite all of that, I don't regret having them help announce the first pregnancy.  I can say I tried and one day they will realize what they have done. 

Just wait until the baby comes.  You think deciding on a birth announcement is hard - when they do or do not want to be involved with the baby after they are born - THAT is when it's tough!

I announced our pregnancy on social media without including SD. Nobody seemed to mind. When our son came, I announced that without including SD too. In fact, SIL picked SD up the morning of the birth and they kept her for a good week or so, so DH and I could have some alone time to get used to having a baby before SD got included. If I took maternity pictures, they would have been DH and myself - no SD. 

All my in-laws don't seem to care. I treat SD good and they know I care for her and take care of her, but they also know my son is my first biological child and there's something special about that and it deserves to be treated that way. I also post photos of my son and I with very sentimental words (I tend to write a lot!) and nobody questions why I don't do the same with SD. It's like... why fake it? SD knows I'm her stepmom. I know i'm her stepmom. We all KNOW this lol 

You do not have to inclue your SD in the announcement/ picuters/ whatever. I am including mine, however i have taken over sole "Mother" care and role in my "step" sons life. He refers to me as his mother, because is mother is not involved. She calls about 1 time a week, sometimes going months without calling and hasn't seen him in well over a year. 

Now, I understand where you are coming from. Although I don't know how you feel, I get it. Not everyone has the relationship with their step children as i have with mine. There are several announcements you could have that would only involve you and your wife. However i suggest some sort of compromise. If the announcement is just you and youre wife, maybe do pictures after as a "Welcoming baby" announcement after born or something along those lines. And i agree with pp, allowing SD to help out in any way, even if it's just retrieving diapers when needed for you, or helping with clothing a couple of times or something. Make sure you enjoy the first, But if SD is willing to help in anyway, even in the smallest, I would take it.