SD sat alone at the table
The oddest thing happened after I’ve been sorta feeling bad for SD11. Major PASd by BM to where she won’t sleep here but mostly comes over when she is supposed to.
i thought I had her pegged as just a being bratty since she’s no longer the boss as she was when her parents were married. Then I thought maybe she’s just struggling....
she will never sit at the dining room table with us and mostly refuses to eat dinner cause “she doesn’t like it” she usually sits at the bar alone or in the living room during dinner. Her sister and my bio kids are over her needy behavior and so is dh.
but recently she told dh what to make for dinner and he did and she sat down at the table for the first time in years....but not one of the other 6 people in my house joined her so she ate alone at the table.
i think my suspicions were correct she is just normally mad that she didn’t pick dinner. She also won’t eat if she didn’t choose the restaurant .
i think everyone in my house was over it and just let her sit there.
She also gets mad at silent
She also gets mad at silent if we aren’t shopping in a store she chose or watching a tv show she chose.
she rules the roost at BMs so her 16 year old sister loves that she isn’t ruled by her when they are over here as mom treats SD11 like a queen (because she got her not sleeping at our house) and treats SD16 like an outcast cause she likes being at her dads.
This reminds me of my
This reminds me of Killjoy15. On vacation, she kicked a chair across a restaurant when we first walked in because she didn't get to pick the restaurant. She was 9. The cashier looked at her like her head spun around. She refused to order, so we ordered something for her she normally likes. She sat at the table and seethed, refusing to eat. (She'd done this on vacation before, and later complained that she didn't get lunch.)
She ruined everyones' meals. I wish I had grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and stood her in the corner for the duration of our meal, or at least made her sit at another table by herself. What an epic brat. She seems to know when she has a captive audience, and takes advantage of it like the opportunistic bacteria she is. That is when her true colors show x100.
She ruined every meal and vacation she was at, whether by screaming fits, constant complaining, or the neverending pout. So a few years ago, I refused to do anything with her anymore. I haven't had a meal or vacation with her for years. And DH won't vacay without me, so SD doesn't get vacations.
She used to flop around on the couch impatiently like a fish when she didn't get to pick what was on the television. Of course she needs plausible deniability, so she wouldn't say anything, just make everyone around her miserable. I told her to find something else to do. She doesn't need to be in the same room as DH every second of every day.
She always finds a way to get even.
So now I don't spend any time in the same room with her. Three years to go.
My sd does all the same but
My sd does all the same but she just does it quietly and passively. Her go to is hiding in another room calling or texting BM that she didn’t get her way or that we “won’t feed her dinner” if she doesn’t like what we are having.
i do get the constant flopping on the couching and jumping on and off the couch....with a persistent “dad” “dad” “dad” about 400 times until he gives in.
This sounds like a leader kid
This sounds like a leader kid looking for followers, but the other kids aren't interested in following. Maybe it's typical "middle-child growing pains?" If all the kids are fed up with her too, sounds like she's an oddball who will struggle to fit in until she bends to majority rule. Maybe she will bend, maybe she won't.
If you aren't all eating together anyway, I don't think it matters that she doesn't join the group that is there. It sounds as if dinner time is when people are available and hungry, not necessarily when everyone is together, so how can you really call her out on sitting separately?
Regardless, if it is queenie trying to find her subjects, let the chips fall naturally. She might need this isolation to understand the price one pays for not bending to the majority or playing nice. She might need to learn how to behave so others want to be around her or follow her lead. Or maybe she's finding she likes having the entire table to herself and doesn't miss their company. No matter what, she's finding out who she is in your pecking order and that's important. I'd leave her to it unless it's causing some bigger problem.