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SD told DH she loves me more,

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Thu, 11/29/2007 - 2:48pm

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My 7-year-old SD told my DH the other day that she loves me more than she loves her mommy.

On one hand this makes me sad. I know it was bound to happen, kids get older, they see through the bs and they figure it out all on their own. I am a BM and it would hurt me so badly if my son or daughter said something like that.

On the other hand I kind of feel as if BB has made her bed and now she has to lay in it! SHE is the one who has USED her own kids, spewed hate, and tried to turn my skids against my dh and I. SD is smart, and she sees through BB (all on her own I might add, we don't disparage BB).

I am happy that SD loves me so much and sad for the situation that BB has created for herself.

See where I get my name??

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 11/29/2007 - 2:54pm

While it lasts. My SD has been back and forth on this one a million times. Right now her mom is buying her love and only seeing her a couple times a month. Therefore mom is the good guy and I'm the mean over correcting parent. The good news? SD's counselor assures me that this will go back and forth some more.

So this week it seems to be turning my way again. BM has lied repeatedly to SD that they are going to hang out with BM's recently returned from deployment boyfriend (who SD really likes a lot and wants to see.) The BF has been home all month and BM lied about them going out of town so she could just have him to herself and not be bothered with SD. So...SD is coming back around my way. Usually Christmas is when the shi! hits the fan over at BM's house. So we'll see what happens. Never a dull moment!

Peace, love, and red wine

nicki's picture

Submitted by nicki (not verified) on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 10:15am

I agree with zenmom with kids being wishy washy about love, in all reality kids really do not know what love is, they see it as they "love" whom ever is being nicest to them at that paticular moment, be careful because a step child will use this to manipulate you.

and as far as being sad, don't worry, blood is always thicker than water no matter what, the bond between a BM and their child will always be there.

lovin_my_life's picture

Submitted by lovin_my_life on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 11:37am

My fiancee's daughter tells everybody that I'm "the only one in the world who can do hair and dress like a hot girl".... and she also says this to the BM (who gets totally crazy after that!) Kids don't always understand and they might see their mommy get upset and yell, so that will automatically make you more fun if you aren't yelling at them. your SD doubt loves her mommy, but she also loves you too. Just remind her that you love her too, and so does her mommy. Good luck with everything!

Daisy_'s picture

Submitted by Daisy_ on Mon, 12/03/2007 - 9:48am

I do agree that kids don't really know what love is, besides the way they are being treated at the moment and that could change in a matter of seconds according to their mood. My SD6 told me the other day that she loved me more than anyone else in the whole wide world. It did make me feel good that she does love me but at the same time it hurt my feeling that she told me this and not my husband.