SD10 on dad's lap
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I'm a little disgusted and just want to see what anyone else thinks.
I've been in the den on my computer while FDH and SD are in the family room watching Disney. They're cuddled up on the couch together and every now and then I hear the smooches and patting. Fine, they're affectionate and don't get every day with each other.
But when I go to the kitchen to get something to drink, she's sitting on his lap rocking back and forth...she's TEN! I don't know, it just seems inappropriate...rubbed me the wrong way,(no pun intented).
Guess I'm just too sensitive. I was never that affectionate with my dad.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah, that's what I thought. He would deny this though.
LOL! I don't have the balls
LOL! I don't have the balls to say anything like that to them!
Video it, and show your FDH
Video it, and show your FDH how creepy it looks.
Ha! That's a good idea, I
Ha! That's a good idea, I just might do that if I see it again.
Just remind him that her
Just remind him that her interest in boys will be sprouting soon, and sitting on daddies lap isn't a good way to teach her how to act with the opposite sex, regardless of affiliation.
Ewwwww gross. That is vile.
Ewwwww gross. That is vile. How can he tolerate that? It sounds like you are describing near making out and dry humping!
I don't think it even crosses
I don't think it even crosses his mind that his innocent baby might be doing something inappropriate that feels good to her.
Maybe it will now though, since I told him that I thought it didn't look right!
Knowing him, I would bet he
Knowing him, I would bet he was afraid he'd hurt her feelings if he told her to get off of him and made her feel like she did something wrong.
I said to him, "I can't believe you let her sit on your lap like that, that's just gross." He was just like, "What?". I just walked away. He doesn't think anything of it, so I thought maybe it was something with me...being overly concerned about nothing.
ETA: She wasn't really 'grinding' him, but rocking side to side, like, la la la la la...
A little while back I
A little while back I mentioned that children of the opposite sex parent that are younger than about 5 shouldn't see them naked, or be able to walk in on them in the bathroom...stuff like that. He's never been concerned because that's just how it's always been since he raised her by himself since she was a newborn.
I understand that some families are more open about these things than others, but what you said about allegations is the reason I mentioned it to him.
The BM isn't completely crazy, she's just really dumb. I don't think we have anything to worry about with her, it's the fact that SD could inadvertently say the wrong thing to the wrong person.
I agree, I've had to mention
I agree, I've had to mention boundaries a few times since we've moved in together. I think he's recently been more careful about changing in front of her etc. since I've expressed how it makes me uncomfortable.
He still leaves the bathroom door open a crack when he's in the shower, so I don't know if she still walks right in when she wants to talk to him or not (when I'm not there).
I myself am a daddy's little
I myself am a daddy's little girl for sure. I love my dad and my dad loves me. I hug my dad every time I see him, but I don't kiss his lips. I stopped sitting on his lap at age of five!!!!
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
Thank goodness they stopped
Thank goodness they stopped kissing on the lips about a year ago, as far as I know. He's always hugging and giving her big smooches on the cheek.
I'm iffy on the sitting on
I'm iffy on the sitting on the lap thing, in our case, DH pushes SD13 off him when she does it and plops her down next to him. I think it all depends on the intention.
We were all watching a movie this weekend. We have a large L shaped couch in the family room. SD13 was laying on the L part and DH was sitting. She was leaning on his chest and he had his arm over her. A long time ago this would have bugged the shit outta me, now it doesn't.
Here's why:
BS16 was showing me some videos on YouTube on his phone. I was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out and resting on the coffee table. BS16, sat on the couch, leaned his entire body towards me so his neck and head were resting on my chest, while my arm was over him, palms resting on his forearms. My chin was resting on his head as we both looked at the videos on his phone.
I find nothing inappropriate about the way my son and I were on the couch.
Nice to hear from a different
Nice to hear from a different perspective, thanks.
Thanks for everyone's
Thanks for everyone's responses! We'll see how things go.
Oh I totally trust my FDH
Oh I totally trust my FDH too, it's just that it looked wrong. She had her butt right in his lap and was moving it side to side.
No, I don't think she tries
No, I don't think she tries to compete with me for attention, but I could see that changing.
Ick. My guy used to have a
Ick. My guy used to have a touchy relationship with my SD (lots of wrestling) until I pointed out how freaking creepy it was. There comes an age where distance is important.
Yeah, and I'm waiting to see
Yeah, and I'm waiting to see at what age that will be!
This issue is what blew me
This issue is what blew me over the top and I'm soooo happy to see um not the only one who hated seeing my s/o and my SD7 being all affectionate and touchy feely. I began to feel like she was competing for his attention and boy was she getting it . With sitting on his lap. Begging for him to carry her even though this kid is about the size of an 11 or 12 year old !!!!! She would wrap her legs around him and even in public until I put that to a stop. I told him it looks disgusting and people will defibately think it's weird. At first he yelled at me and said he's not going to change his relationship with his daughter but he ended up stopping .. although she still begs for it. When we lay in bed s she lays on his chest and one time he insisted on rubbing my feet then went on to rubbing hers for her!!!!! Are you KIDDING ME!!!!!???? He calls her baby which I also put a stop to cuz I was tired of being called the same name her ! They wrestle all the time and I just blew up how innapprppraite it is to be wrestling with her . I just despise and hate to see her all over him 24/7 when she is here. I can't even speak to my SO without her butting in nor can I tallk to him on the phone when she is around without her talking at the same time. It makes me sick how affectionate they are and I could just vomit all over them both !! Literally. When she whines and cries she will cuddle up on him.I was never like this with my dad. EVER. And I also was never a needy whiney brat.
The behavior described
The behavior described reminds me of the mini-wife syndrome. Google it.
I find it gross personally. As a mom I wouldn't do this with my bio son. No different because it's a dad and his daughter.
My SD13 still kisses her dad
My SD13 still kisses her dad on the lips, head in his lap on the couch, rubs his head, her rubs her back. I think is sooooo weird and creepy. I would never ever do that with my dad. He was raised differently though. His mom will sit on the couch and rub his 33 year old sisters back.
I'm so grossed out by it but have never said anything. I give dirty looks sometimes though and I think he gets the hint. I just think its weird that he will put his arm behind me and rub my back when we are watching a movie, and then an hour later do the same thing to his 13 year old daughter.
SD has a lot of boundary issues. She asks me to kiss her on the lips all the time. I've told her no time and time again and explained that its not appropriate.
Still haven't figured out how to handle this one.....