SD's School Enrollment Saga Continues - Update
Update on SD 18's school enrollment drama:
Per the current CS Agreement, CS was terminated when SD turned 18 (September 2024). IF she enrolled in a full-time educational program then CS would continue based on the CS Guidelines (in Canada) so long as satisfactory proof of enrollment and regular full-time attendance are provided to DH.
BM, realizing that she is missing that extra chunk of change each month, sends me an email stating that SD has been going to a full-time program at the local high school to earn credits towards her high school diploma since October and that DH has to back pay for October and November or else she will have her lawyer begin the process of having his wages garnished. (A few noteables: SD has not completed a full year of high school since grade 9; and any CS agreements have always been settled out of court via lawyers). BM provided a letter from the school stating that SD had been attending full-time studies since October - which was false. SD has not been going to school at all.
DH reached out to the school to enquire as to why/how they could send a false letter and was told that the Vice Principal would call him back. No one called him back. That same day, DH was to connect with SD and was talking with her on the phone to set up a time, when SD frantically had to let him go because BM was blowing up her phone with texts freaking out. We figured the school most likely reached out to BM and she knew that she (and the school) were caught providing false information.
DH then emailed the school's principal requesting clarification as to how they could send a false letter and wanted further information on this program that SD was supposedly enrolled in but wasn't attending. Also requested her attendance records and her curriculum. The Principal responded the next day stating that the Vice Principal had reached out to SD and BM and that SD is "now" enrolled in the program, that it is a self-paced program, without normal attendance requirements and that because SD is 18 they cannot provide DH with any information regarding her attendance records or curriculum, how she is doing, etc... without SD's written consent. Once that was received, then the Principal would be happy to meet with DH. That should be interesting, as we believe that BM will coach SD to not provide consent.
We then reached out to our lawyer to discuss the next steps as we do not communicate directly with BM as she is highly volatile and if she doesn't get her way, all hell breaks loose. The lawyer suggested that he send BM a letter requesting sufficient proof and attendance per the agreement that we can approve (since BM's email and letter from the school were false and didn't provide sufficient information) before any kind of CS is to commence. As well an amended/new CS agreement be drawn up to include a cap (i.e. CS to end at age XX) since there isn't a cap clause in the current agreement.
I saw SD this weekend, and she out of the blue with no prompting, mentioned that she is starting her program at the high school soon. I asked her what courses she was taking and she said she didn't know (??). That it was only 2 courses but is a full-time program. Hmmmm...sounds like a) BM coached her to say that to me and DH; and b) 2 courses does not constitute full-time?
DH would never shirk away from his responsibilities, but he also doesn't want to pay CS if SD isn't going to school. Hence why we want access to her attendance records. Before SD turned 18, BM never encouraged SD to go to school regularly and eventually didn't bother at all. She didn't care, as long as she was getting the monthly CS payments. But since SD turned 18, and those payments were no longer coming in, BM all of a sudden seems to care about SD's education? And lies about it at that. SD is her cash cow which is sad but true. And SD is so brainwashed that she just doesn't know any better (you live what you learn).
We would then go from there. If BM wants to take this to the Family Registrar Office (FRO) to garnish his wages, essentially take us to court, then off to court we'll go. As unfortunate as that may be considering we never had to do that before.
This is so draining from an emotional standpoint and also physically takes a toll. DH and I are so tired of this.
I'd be tired, too
Your BM is panicking. Definitely get that age cap. How disgusting
Lazy fks will spend more time
Lazy fks will spend more time and energy getting others to pay for them than they would just working and paying for themselves. Because they aren't just lazy, they are dumb too.
It doesn't matter what the
It doesn't matter what the school says or what BM and the SD. So far, sufficient evidence of enrollment in a FULL TIME program has not been provided.
Let BM spend the money with her lawyer to come after your DH. Then your DH can show the FAKE letter the school sent LYING and saying SD was in already in the program the last 2 months.
I would hold out for a statement where the school says that SD is spending at least 6-8 hours a day working on the program.
If SD will not authorize your DH to review said records, then "sufficient proof has not been provided."
SD is an adult. She should be held accountable for withholding permission for DH to view her records.
*shrugs shoulders* "Sorry SD. It's up to you to give me permission to see your attendance information so I can resume child support payments."
WTF
The school provided a fraudulent document? Honestly, I would contact the superintendent or school board and report this. Seriously, wtf.
I would too. That document
I would too. That document could cost the OP and her DH thousands. BM probably bullied them into it but still, they need to know that "come on, it's just one piece of paper!" can really eff up someone's life.
SD chose to drop out. Time for SD and mommy to suffer hunger.
You and DH are absolutely right in all of this. She dropped out so at 18 she is no longer a dependent. If she chooses to return to HS or not should not impact that at all. The 18 or HS graduation which ever is later depends on compliance with the school attendance policies which SD and BM violated thus.... no more daddy cash.
There is no CO so I would take the stand that BM has no case. If she goes to court for a CO and CS for an 18yo HS drop our to try to get daddy to resume payments for a privately agreed obligation that is already retired, good F'n luck.
Stand your ground and enjoy the escapades. I forecast that BM will likely just gnash her teeth and whine since the conditions of the agreement between your DH and his X have expired with SD dropping out and turning 18.
As sad as SD's situation is, this is a prime learning experience for her. Hopefully she will extricate her head from her own ass and finish HS at least. Just maybe she will gain some clarity and successfully finish growing up on her own time and her own dime and make something of herself.