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Should I or Shouldn't I

digginate's picture

So I have been grappling with this for weeks now and want to get some insights. My situation hasn't improved. SD is manipulating Mom. Mom is blind to it, I mention something about it and it causes a fight. Tonight is a perfect example. We were at my folks house for Christmas dinner. My SD makes a comment to me it came across disrespectful and rude, I called her out on it. We get home, she cries to Mom about which causes conflict. I guess her and Mom have this sarcastic way of joking that looks like they're serious. To me if I appeared or sounded disrespectful or rude to my parents in anyway it was an automatic belt or wooden spoon or slap in the mouth. I taught my kids you disrespect me you get punishment. But when we joked it was more light hearted and not so serious of a sarcastic way. Maybe I'm old school and need to loosen up. But I feel it is wrong to be disrespectful or rude with a serious look on your face even if you're joking. At this point with everything else that has transpired in my relationship I'm to a point where I feel I should walk away. But I have another 6 months in the lease I'm in with my fiance. Should I leave and continue to pay half, or should I stay wait out the 6 months and leave then. I don't want to leave. But this 15 yr old seems to be making impossible. Any thoughts would be appreciated

Survivingstephell's picture

You could threaten to walk out in the lease, leave it to BM to fund on her own until it over , using her parenting as leverage.  Either SD treats me with respect or I walk.  Your money is key to making life work in your house and you need to make it clear that  you control it.  

MorningMia's picture

It sounds like this just isn't working. Can you talk to your fiance calmly and honestly and tell her how you're feeling and lay out what you see the options as being? a) Like Surviving suggests, things change with her parenting & her daughter's behavior (b) she and daughter leave c) you leave and leave them with 100% of the bills there d) you all talk to the leasing office to see if you can get out of the lease early and both of you move e) you torture yourself and stick around for another 6 months.   

Harry's picture

It's takes time to find a apartment, makes plans to move.  So it's more like 4 months.   You need to have a serious talk with your SO.   Main point the mother / daughter relationship. You demand respect.  Respect for you abd your family .  You go to someone home abd eat a dinner, that they perpaired and payed for.  They deserve respect for that. These people are adults SGP. Not her school friends.

Her mother your SO didn't parent her DD and taught her how to respect people.  This isn't working out. I would stay the 6 months and start a exit plan.  Neighborhoods  you want to move in,, rents $ ..  packing. Having enough money. First  month..last month. Security.