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skids show no emotion they are heartless

pat's picture

Well, it has been a tough week. One of my skids has mono , and my aunt passed away today. Funeral is on Wednesday . I was glad that I went to the hospital to see her before she passed of cancer.So, I was talking to my SO in the kitchen about it and my uncle and cousins have been calling in. So, my skids know that I have lost a loved one and they don't even say anything. I have come to the point that I don't even want to look at them or talk to them in our house because they are heartless. How could they only think about themselves?

Moon Child Step Mom's picture

I’m very sorry about your aunt…
being away from home and my family has really taught me the value of “family”, I’m really sorry for your loss.

How can they only think about themselves..? Because they were raised to be selfish, ungrateful, entitled little jerks. Kids that are raised with the world revolving around them grow up into adults who think they’re entitled to the same treatment. Nothing registers on their radars unless it hurts them directly. The sooner you STOP expecting them to act like human beings the sooner you’ll stop having your feelings hurt by them. They will never have compassion for you… just accept it.

hismineandours's picture

My uncle passed away a few years ago. He and my aunt have always been very good to the kids including ss-this includes presents and money at all holidays (ss was treated just the same as my bios). He was ill for sometime with cancer. After he died-probably 6 months after the fact I overheard ss say to bd-"I dont even really care that uncle died-he wasnt any fun anyway all he did was read the paper and sleep"-ss was around 11 when he said this. I was appalled. I mean who says stuff like that. If he didnt feel close to my uncle that's fine, but geez to say I dont care that he died-huh, he sure cared when he was holding out his hand for all his gifts over the years! I dont expect any compassion from him-I could die and he'd probably have a celebration.

Jsmom's picture

I remember when I had to put the dog down the day after having foot surgery and neither of the SK's said a thing. I was in a bad place and DH asked what was wrong and I looked at him like he was nuts. Finally said, you know the dog has been in their lives for three years now and they can't even say anything to me about the loss? He had to force SD14 to say she was sorry about Spike. Just one more reason to consider that these kids have no compassion.

tryingpatience's picture

It seems to me many of the children today are different than when we were growing up. Many of them are like NO FEELING robots! I wonder if this is b/c of the technology? At times, I witness my skids to SAY the RIGHT THING like "I miss my grandpa very much" but there is NO FEELING behind the words??? When I grew up, respecting and helping your elders and others was expected. I am so thankful that my dad instilled this in me when I was young. We would go to the shelters, mental hospitals and nursing homes every Christmas to hand out gifts to the less fortunate. At first, I didn't like to do it but my dad made me do it and what a difference it made in my life! When I was young I liked to spend time talking and getting to know my aunts and uncles. I would help them clean house and learn to cook their recipes. Kids don't do this today! I asked my 17 y.o. sd to cook one of her favorite meals with me and she wasn't interested. She would rather chat on her computer and/or cell phone and let me cook it for her. It's just sad Sad

Doubletakex3's picture

It's true. We put my SD (16 at the time) in counseling because she had absolutely no empathy, compassion or seemed to have any conscience. Her guidance counselor at school recommended therapy. I'm pleased that she's grown into a very compassionate person in her mid-to-late 20s.

I tried to save the seals, walked to raise money, took up collections to help the needy, etc when I was a child. Seems like skids of divorce are devoid of emotion, or at least positive emotion.

mom2five's picture

Maybe they just didn't know what to say? Kids tend to be really uncomfortable with death. Maybe they just had no idea what to say to you.

AVR1962's picture

Sorry for your loss. We too had a loss this week. Husband's sister passed, lukemia. She and family did not know she had it. She called 911 and collapsed in the hospital never to regain consciencness, wonderful person too, nevr a hateful word out of her mouth, she was so loving. Her funeral is Friday.

My husband and I have a bio daughter together (13) and she knows what all is going on but has not made a comment and I think it is because she is uncomfortable with the situation and does not know what to say.

youanddad's picture

I know how you feel. It's like they aren't expected to reach out ... only to be reached. I would never raise my own kids that way. My sister's children are so concerned about others ... I believe kids are that way, if you instill it in them early. The other way, it's almost scary ... :O

youanddad's picture

I know how you feel. It's like they aren't expected to reach out ... only to be reached. I would never raise my own kids that way. My sister's children are so concerned about others ... I believe kids are that way, if you instill it in them early. The other way, it's almost scary ... :O

TKM's picture

YES

STEPKIDS ARE SELFISH AND FRUSTRATING! my stepdaughter bashed me on facebook on my birthday...but I got revenge on her like no tomorrow. It is frustrating that they even have the need to start something!

Sorry for your loss! Prayers on the way!