would you fight BM to take kids out of school games?
Forums:
Some people here have told me to go fight to spend time with my kids and take BM to court. Others have told me to go to their games because kids will resent me pulling them from their activities and games with their fellow school friends. So, being I don't have the funds to fight Bm in court, and have discussed this with my fiance, we have decided to let them go to their games and go to see them their so we can see them and they can enjoy both. Am
I wrong to think this will work ? Would you fight to pull them out ?
Fighting to take your kids
Fighting to take your kids out of school games & fighting to be in your children's lives are two VERY different things. The issues you've posted about previously didn't revolve around school games alone. There are issues that go much deeper than extra-curricular activities.
Absolutely fight to be a father to your children. Don't make it about games.
We have a parent time
We have a parent time agreement that states that BM wont schedule things on my time with kids. But, with school and other things that kids are involved in eg. girl scouts, cheerleading, and gymnastics , among others, it falls on some of my days that I would like to do things with them. So, do I fight to keep them out of these, or force BM to take them out ?
If they're close enough for
If they're close enough for you to attend their activities, can you not take them to their activities when it's your time with them? That way, you can play an active role in their lives, AND they can enjoy their activities.
If BM is refusing you visitation on your scheduled times, take her to court for contempt. The judge will put a stop to it.
That depends on a few things.
That depends on a few things. Do the school games interfere with your visitation? Do the children want to be involved in the extracurricular activities? Is there any room for compromise?
My BM used to play the PAS game and interfered with DH's visitation by enrolling SS in every weekend sport or activity possible from the time SS was 3 until he was 10. SS played t-ball, bowling, baseball, golf, awanis club, karate, etc... My DH was only granted "reasonable visitation" per the CO and had been getting SS overnight every weekend. Once the activities started, BM told DH that SS just had to be at practices, games, celebration lunches, make-up games, etc. There was always something to interfere. So instead of getting SS from Fri night to Sun night, DH and I began going to all games and practices and DH's visitation was reduced to Sat afternoon to Sun night. This was our compromise to support SS when he played a sport while still spending some quality time with him.
If the children really want to be involved, then I think you should support them. But it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice visitation. Talk to your kids and let them know how much you miss them. Maybe you can find a time that is more convenient for everyone to have visitation (i.e. every Wed could be dinner w/ dad, or the first Mon of every month could be daddy/kiddo day). If you can't be there to see your children in person, schedule time for a phone call each week. I think you can stay involved in your children's lives without having to take BM to court or pull the kids from their games.
That makes sense. I have to
That makes sense. I have to sit down and get my kids thoughts on this. God only knows what BM tells them. Maybe she puts fear into them? Maybe they really want me to go to games and be there. I think I need to work on this some more before the court deal. Thank you for the thought.
Pat, I thought of your
Pat, I thought of your situation when I read this post.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/32486