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Slightly O/T with a huge smack to my head thanks to our lawyer. Vent.

Sparklelady's picture

We are buying a large commercial building.

I own my own business. Husband owns his own business. We also own two residential properties (one each).

In order to buy the large commercial building, there will be guarantees made by me personally to guarantee the loan, my business guaranteeing the loan, my husband personally, and his business guaranteeing the loan - no problem, we're in this for the long-haul. And it's a pretty big commercial building. We understand.

My husband's business has a debt registered against it in the amount of approximately $100k to be paid to his ex over the next 7 years - it's basically her buyout from the end of their relationship. It's the only debt registered against the business.

We received an email from our lawyer today:
"The bank wants to be listed as the first payor against the new mortgage, but Mr. Sparkle's ex-wife has a loan registered against the business first. Will Mr. Sparkle's ex-wife step aside so that the bank will come first, and she will come second?"

Hmm. Let me see Mr. Lawyer. I'm looking out my window right now, and while yes, I can see that it is cold… I don't really think that hell has frozen over yet has it? Is that actually a pig I see flying in the sky across the street? Because it looks like it's just a hawk to me. Wait! Maybe you mean to imply that you have developed a special pill that magically erases borderline personality disorder? Cures narcissism? Is an anti-douche vaccine??

No?

Thought so.

Idiot. Obviously not a family law lawyer.

Sparklelady's picture

Lmao... Thank you! Your reply made ME laugh out loud, and boy I appreciate it!!

Sparklelady's picture

Omg, can you imagine?? I know I should be more sympathetic to those who don't know better, but seriously... SERIOUSLY??

I knew only people here would immediately understand the utter absurdity Smile

hereiam's picture

Oh, Mr. Lawyer, you are so funny. While we're at it, why don't we just ask Mr. Sparkle's ex to forgive the debt entirely? I'm sure she would be happy to oblige.

You don't have practice family law to know how ludicrous that sounds.