SM lies about me to his therapist
So, I really try not to let this bother me, but it has gone to anothe rlevel.
My step son and step daughter have had such awful behavior that their parents decided to take them to counseling which I think is much over do.
My issue is my step son has made up so many lies and told the counselor I am treating him bad, mean, and abusing him that they have now called childe services and have investigated us (my husband and I). They have also investigated his mother's home which they found to be unfit for both of then due to her actions. Apparently they are not considered safe there. So, now they must come live with us full time while their mother gets her self together. How do I deal with him apparently hating me and making up such awful lies about me. he has put so much starin on the family and I find it difficult to even look at him most days. How would you alld eal with this?
I meant SS in the title
I meant SS in the title ...OOPS
Yes this is a very damaging
Yes this is a very damaging sort of lie. It's one thing to make up silly stories or say that sm didnt kiss my ass last week-but allegations of abuse are a different story. Do you have children of your own? If so, I am sorry, but I would not allow the skids there. You would not want to put your own kids placement with you at risk in anyway. I would look into another relatives care or simply tell dcs that you are not comfortable with these children in your home. They cannot force you to take them
Completely disengage from the
Completely disengage from the boy. Unless he first utters a decent word you act as if he doesn't exist and then only to respond to that utterance in as few words as possible.
Once the boy realizes you do not care what he says or does - yes even when hes lying about you to his father in front of you then you still ignore him. Completely as if he doesn't exist. Once he realizes you don't care you've taken all the power away from him. In fact in some cases it so startles the kids that they make an about face but don't count on it. Remember nothing, short of lighting a fire in the living room, nothing gets a reaction from you. Even then you use the fire extinguisher, call the fire department and then let his Dad sort it out. It's Daddy's problem not yours.
Read this for help: http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
Thanks everyone this has been
Thanks everyone this has been a very challenging situation. My husband has been very supportive althought I know it must be hard for him to be in the middle like this. We are taking it one day at a time and the ironic thing is he tried to make me out to be an unfit parent I guess he thought I was going to disappear and it ends upbackfiring and his mother ends up being the unfit parent. I feel for her though..she may be crazy and irresponsible but this is a lot to take and so unexpected.Now he is crying about how much he misses his mother and why did I do this to him....ME? I did nothing wrong and I say nothing. I don't have children of my own yet, so that is actually a good thing. the latest episode is him trying to manipulate even the therapist his comments are " Its hard living with a lady I barely know"...but I guess its ok living with all the different men your mother brings in every 2 months and I guess its cool for you to be dropped off at every neighbors house for hours daily while your mom hangs out and. And news flash its no walk in the park for the rest of us either. This is just the beginning and I have a feeling it's going to get worse. Sigh
Yeah, SS8 just started
Yeah, SS8 just started therapy. I can't wait to see what BM coaches him to say.