SM losing mind...losing control???
Well where to start....(I'll try and make this short) ok I'm a 27 year old SM to a 11 year old girl for almost two years now. When my husband and I first got together things seemed to be great with all of us.Me and her got along great she is a super smart kid in school and in the "street smarts" sometimes I worry that she knows way to much. we had gotten her a cell phone and did a check up on some of the text messages..... and was completly blown away by what she was getting and sending. All sexually related.. I was horrified. Needless to say she no longer has a cell phone. I worry that she has some obsession with dating and boys. I know girls sometimes have "daddy" issues, but he has always had full custody of her and they have a great relationship! And I know girls at that age like the boy thing. I just worry that its at the very wrong level for her age...
She also has always had this thing with lying over EVERYTHING. Just recently she stole some items from me and lied about it for a week making up "reasons" why my things were missing.So it took my husband and I about an hour of questioning for her to confess(well she really confessed after we said we were taking her new cloths away)... this is just one small example... the lying is getting worse and over bigger and bigger things. I dont understand she has everything a kid her age could want and if she doesnt get it she finds a way to either by stealing or manipulating another family member to get it for her. Some of my family don't even want her over for fear of influence she will have on their kids.
I know some of this sounds like typical pre-teen things but it's getting to the point that I don't even want to be around her anymore and it breaks my heart. I want to be that positive role model for her but it's hard when I just see her now as a manipulative and lying child.
It also gets difficult with the punishments. Nothing bothers her...and dad ends up feeling super guilty.. I don't know what to do. I'm trying everything and nothing seems to work. I'm losing my mind.
Having daddy feeling guilty
Having daddy feeling guilty is a big problem. She needs consequences now, before it's too late. If she isn't forced to face consequences of her wrong doing, she will never learn. She will learn that she is able to manipulate people and it will be easier for her to get what she wants without working for it. I have a SD doing the same thing, worse even because she is almost 30 years old. Do yourself a favor a stop this before she ends up in jail and you are spending all your money either bailing her out of jail or she's using her children to get what she wants from her parents. The older they get the harder it is.
Good luck
this is NOT pre-teen crap.
this is NOT pre-teen crap. your sd has issues that need attending to. sd11 over here has been stealing since she was 2. she is 11 now and it gets worse and worse. she is just beginning to get help (bf is lazy).
A SHRINK!!!!! Needs
A SHRINK!!!!! Needs therapy. OMG, if my SD12 was talking sexually to boys I'd be petrified. That is way too young.
Thank you for all your
Thank you for all your responses! It helps me feel like I'm not crazy for feeling this way. I think I'm giong to find a family counselor. Believe me when I find these things out it is shocking to me.