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small miracles...finally a happy post

forever2's picture

Once in awhile I read a post about a SM who finally had something go her way, and I am always happy for her, but always sigh and say...when is something going to go my way? I have been telling BF for years that is is not in anyone's best interest to do this messed up every other day or every two day skid schedule. BM dictates the schedule and essentially assigns our life to us after she picks all the fun days and holidays and special occasions to have kid free. She always sneaks in a few extra kid-free days for herself so that 50/50 is now 60/40 and that extra 10% that we have to take him feels like 90%. We have to beg her to switch days as if she is doing us a favor to take her own kid. We can't go on vacation without asking her permission, and when I used to think about getting married and going on a honeymoon, I quickly realized that we would need to ask her first if she could take the kid...like asking her permission to get married! Forget it. BF always bows down to her to prevent her wrath, and BM always manages to convince BF that if he doesn't do everything she says, he is a bad parent. Anyway, after 2 years of trying to explain how my life and our life as a couple needs stability and that our relationship matters too and that a 12 year old would be better off with a little stability, he finally asked her! He finally collected his balls and asked her and miracle of miracles, she said okay! That we could go EOW from now on! This is monumental! Now we have quality time, 7 whole days at a time skid free! Before it was like going on a vacation, but as soon as you take your bikini out of the bag it was time to go home. It sucked. Now, I will spend skid week making myself scarce and getting productive stuff done at work and home and daydreaming about our week of freedom. Now we have 26 weeks to choose from for vacation, or getting married or whatever, and BM isn't tracking our every move. It is 99.9% frustration being SMs, but once in awhile, there is an early Christmas present if we hang in there long enough.

bebegirl22's picture

YAY!!! I soooo miss out EOW schedule. When we were newlyweds it was so nice to actually feel like newlyweeds for a week. We have SD's full time now and I daydream about that time that I loved and miss so much.

Good for you. Enjoy it!

Rags's picture

I like the long distance visitation schedule and I am am the CP StepDad. We get 5wks in the summer, half of the Christmas break and evey spring break without the Skid. This gives us plenty of time to do things as a family and to keep the kid in a stable and structured home and my wife and I regular and fairly extensive time that we can do stuff without the kid.

Contrats on getting part of your life back.

young stepmother of two's picture

Congratulations!

I enjoy the EOW schedule as well. It's nice to have a break, and a chance to clean up the tornado! Lol.

As far as holidays and fun occasions like 4th of July and New Years, if she wants to go get plastered or whatever and wants us to keep the kids, I'm all for it. They are only young once, and I love taking pictures and making memories. In the long run, the memories of those fun holidays will be with them, and I will be in those memories! I would think that BM would want to celebrate with her children, but I will gladly take her place if she wants otherwise!

ddakan's picture

:jawdrop: wow. nice to know cooperation can happen.