So over this ... am I being taken for a ride??
I have been a CSM now for 4 years, and I am getting to breaking point. It's not the skids faults, but I feel like DH just expects that I will be there to look after the skids whenever and do everything that needs doing!
We now have DD 6 months together, and she is amazing. Loving being a bio mum. However she is a bad sleeper. I have not had more than 3 hours a night sleep for 6 months. I have now come to the realisation that DH is a lot lazier than I ever gave him credit for! He has never helped with a night feed, he sits on the couch while I deal with all 3 kids. I even had to push him to take his own son out on the holidays, otherwise he would have just watched tv for the whole 2 weeks he was on leave! And when I told him last week I was going to sleep school with DD for 2 nights because I needed sleep, he was like "what am I going to do with the kids?" UMMM THEY ARE YOUR KIDS!!! DON"T YOU GET THAT???
Anyway tonight I cracked. I work too (3 days a week) I used to work FT before I had DD. So as per usual I am dealing with DD the 2 skids, getting DH out of bed for work (he works NS) cooking dinner. Making sure homework is done, making sure chores are getting done, cleaning up ... anyway you get the idea!
I lost it when the rubbish bin was so full I couldn't even tie the bag, so I kicked the crap out of it and smashed it into the wall!
DH comes in and yells at me "CALM THE #$%@ DOWN!" So I go outside for a breather, and come back in to feed DD. But what bugs the hell out of me is that he has just left for work, but do you think he asked if I was ok, or even what's going on? NO!
So my question is, am I being taken for a ride here? Am I just the idiot who is busting my chops to look after a lazy man and his 2 ungrateful kids??
Unfortunately, yes. Its time
Unfortunately, yes. Its time now to step back, stop working so hard and let DH step in. If he doesn't then some things just won't get done. Take care of you and your daughter. He needs to take the rest for a while.
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
At first read, I would say
At first read, I would say yes, you are getting taken for a ride. However, then I think, have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you asked him to help you?
Just a thought, but maybe say to him, "honey, I love how you work to provide for us. I feel over burdened though. Do you think there is anything you can do to help me with this? Do you think you could make dinner maybe twice a week?"
I find that sometimes they just don't know we are upset about these things. That a calm discussion might help the situation. Now, there is every possibility he will say no. I would say in that case, "ok, in that case, I will no longer be making dinner for the whole family as I need to take care of myself. You are more than welcome to make something for yourself and your kids."
I am running into this issue right now. I feel like a nanny/cook/maid/bedpartner. It really sucks. I am talking to SO though about it. He works 12 hour shifts. I work a full time job as well. I am asking him to step up a little. Last night he thanked me for my extra effort. I asked, "what extra?" He said, you went to work, went grocery shoppping then came home and made dinner. Now you are doing laundry" I said, "well you are welcome, you could help" He ended up helping me fold laundry.
Talk to him calmly about your issues before jumping the gun that you are being taken advantage of. Ask him for help.