Some advice would be appreciated...
Ok I'm back 
I deleted my other account (curse you paranoia!) because I had used identifying names and who knows with the internet these days and BM is CRAZY...
So here are some facts in a nutshell:
*BM got pregnant on purpose...DH and I have proof of this.
*BM got a restraining order on ME for a year simply to try to make it so DH could not see SD anymore. (All lies in the petition btw, I am NOT a violent stalker!!!)
*The judge granted restraining order but did not grant the clause that I could not be around during DH parenting time (which is good because this is OUR house).
*BM is CONSTANTLY texting DH about how horny she is and things arent working out with her "fiance" and how I am a "skank" and he needs to just go back to her.
*In the very next breath BM tells DH what a pathetic shitty dad he is and he needs to give up his parental rights so that her "fiance" can adopt SD.
*BM has PC but uses DH as a babysitter unless she gets pissed about something.
*DH custody agreement is EVERY Sunday overnight and every other Friday overnight plus every friday night from 5-9. But for the past 5 months we have had SD EVERY SINGLE DAY from 7am to 5pm plus our courtordered overnights.
*BM saw pictures of SD on MY facebook and "freaked out". She started withholding SD from DH visitation and decided to put SD back in "daycare" for her "safety".....even though we have had her EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 5 months!
*We already have a lawyer and want to take her back to court (we are slowly working towards 50/50.
Is there anyway we can request a manditory psych eval. for all 3 of us?
Is there anyway we can request an investigator to go through our homes again and determine the "safety" of living conditions?
DH and I OWN our house, SD has her own room with I would imagine 1000's of dollars worth of clothes and toys and everything she could ever want or need. She is 2 btw SD and I have a very strong bond, I have been here since she was 6 months old. I do most of the parenting and day to day activities when we have her.
BM just lost her apartment and got fired yet again. She is living in her sisters basement with SD. I'm just confused as to how she can still have PC with her living conditions and obvious mental health problems.
Please help, I was thinking of signing the 3 of us (me DH and BM ) up for family counseling (after the ppo is expired of course) ....any advice?
I post pictures of my skids
I post pictures of my skids to fb all the time. How is that wrong wrong wrong?
I would assume that the OP
I would assume that the OP did have her husbands blessing, so she did have a parents permission.
thank you! Why shouldnt we
thank you! Why shouldnt we take her for the extra time though? doesnt that help prove out point in court when we ask for right of refusal again? WE DONT WANT SD in daycare when we are here to care for her :/ plus BMs argument everytime we go to court is that our home is "not safe"...doesnt taking her for the extra time help prove that she is crazy? because who would let someone care for their child EVERY day for 5 months straight is it was "unsafe"?
As for counseling, I know if I made the appointments for all 3 of us she probably wouldnt show up so if just DH and I went we could show in court that we are making an effort to get along and resolve these issues cordially but she isn't by refusing to attend? idk thank you though
I agree with you on the
I agree with you on the visitation. If you guys want her, take her. It can only look good in your favor when you get back in front of the judge that you have her a large percentage of the time already.
Make sure you document any time you have her, so you can show the judge when it comes time. BM will more than likely disagree with how often she's left her with you, so anything you have to prove that you were her primary caregivers for XX% of the time will help you. Just get a dayplanner and rite down drop off and pick up times.
As for the counseling.... Don't really think that's a good idea. Can't see that ending well.
well thats just silly, my
well thats just silly, my profile is PRIVATE. I post them for OUR family :/ I think that argument is a bit ridiculous....and we DO want her more (hence, going to court for 50/50) why wouldnt DH want to spend more time with his daughter? And Im not an evil stepmom thats like oh your kid your problem, this is my house, my husband and my life...I am very involved in the situation. And I didnt get into details before but DH and BM's relationship was on again off again for about a year. Very unhealthy and volatile. They were never married. The last "off" time they had, she sent emails and told his Uncle and several close friends that she was going to get pregnant so that DH "could never get away from her". During their last "on" time she immediately got pregnant. DH DID use condoms, she bragged to close friends after the fact that she had sabatoged them and had gone off her pill even though he had just taken her to her appt. to get them....it sounds unbelievable. THERE ARE OBVIOUS MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS. She is diagnosed bipolar and is on medication. We also suspect MBPS but that is another story all together...which is why we want these psych evals done....
Save all those texted. Dh
Save all those texted. Dh should not answer any of her texted if that is the way BM is going to acted. DH visitation is kind of crazy, not sure why a judge would agree to that. Write everything down, because the more you have the better. Take pictures of SD every time you have her with your phone. They should have dates and times on them. Not sure why you get to be around sd durning DH time and yet there is a RO. BM sounds like she is Bi-Polar. I agree no counseling together.
I guess IM just the crazy one
I guess IM just the crazy one for thinking that if we all just talked about our problems and resolved them like mature adults things would be OK....I just dont understand the petty manipulation and jealousy acts.....
you are not dealing with
you are not dealing with normal. you are dealing with crazy. it's a whole other world when it comes to crazy and you are always to blame. bm does not care one little bit about you or how you feel or your intentions right, wrong or otherwise. she wants you gone and she will do whatever she can to get rid of you.
do you remember in middle school when they targeted one poor girl to hate just because she existed? that's you. you can't reason with this person she will simply not care.
i'm a part of this fun club too!
Agreed! When you're dealing
Agreed!
When you're dealing with crazy, you cannot treat them like a "normal" adult.
The BM of my skids is also bipolar and an addict, there is no dealing with her in any sort of way!
AND btw, with regard to posting pictures of your skids on FB- I see nothing wrong with that what-so-ever!!!
My skids were in our wedding!!! How unreasonable to think I shouldn't post pictures of my wedding or my step kids to FB. I don't see the logic here at all. Except if you were a solid, grounded, fully participating BM then, maybe, you may want to be informed of what's going on with your children with regard to FB, but clearly this is NOT what we're dealing with her- so therefore, you cannot project this onto some crazy BM.
My skids live with me FULL TIME, see their BM 5 or 6 times A YEAR. I would never ask "permission" to post anything to FB. I have my HUSBAND for that. If he has a problem with something I'm doing, then he will address it with me.
Best of luck to you.
Sometimes though, if the
Sometimes though, if the evaluation is court ordered, health insurance will cover the cost and all that needs to be paid is the co-pay. I used to work for a company and we did that. if there is no insurance I know that some places will offer a discounted rate as well. I would mention this to a representative, if she has a active RO for stalking then there will be no problem having this granted. As for the home visitation, all you or your legal representation would have to do is bring up living in the basement and concern for health due to possible mold or dampness or really any reason. If she isn't taking her medication she could also be investigated if she truely is bi-polar. I would start with that. I would also record how much time SD is at your house outside of the order, I would record and keep record of how she asked, adn how much notice was given to show that you two are willing to drop everything to take care of her. I would not go into couseling with her at this stage unless it is with a mediator for the new visitation schedule.
Oh I didn't even think of
Oh I didn't even think of recording how she asks, mostly she just tells. And most days she just shows up and somedays she doesn't come at all :/ THis last time (after the 5 month period) she stopped dropping her off to MIL (MIL brings SD to our house on her way to work at 7) (Its more conveinent for BM to do this because we live 10 minutes away from her and MIL lives 30 seconds away)because of the FB pictures...DH texted her to ask what was going on why SD didn't come that morning and she just said "I put her back in daycare and my lawyer told me not to talk to you anymore"....Note here that she doesn't have a lawyer....*sigh.