Sorry kids, too busy. Mother of the yr strikes again
back story... Son, his step-son and his infant son moved in with me early Jan this yr. To date BM has taken the older boy{8yrs}for 27 days and the infant{6mths} 3 days
Last night BM called son and explained she was taking the kids Saturday for a couple hours. However since the older boy has been misbehaving she was not going to the carnival. Then had a conversation with older boy. It was obvious from his side of the conversation he was told no carnival. He hung up on her
She called back and told my son she was not taking either of the kids since older boy was yelling at her. And she is spending the day and night with her drug dealer BF and his kids. And since she doesn't know what time she would be rolling in she couldn't take them Sunday because she has to work. (starts work at 3PM)
The older boy threw a tantrum of epic proportions last night and has had several melt downs today. Therapy is needed but BM must either make the arrangements or give up his medical card. Remember this is not my son's bio child.
Mom is afraid the boy might say something in therapy that would cause CPS to become involved and she would loose her benefits.
Going to court for custody will take months, big city, and there is no real immediate danger to the boys to warrant an emergency order.
I am buying my son a mothers day card. She will not let anyone (me or my son) make decisions because She Is The MOM.
This bitch needs to step up or step out. I prefer she Step Out!!
Why does the BMs ( his ex )
Why does the BMs ( his ex ) kid live with your son, in your home ? I'm guessing he has Zero legal rights to this child. Where is the 8 years old bio father ? Your son needs to make sure he gets custody of his bio child and send the other child back to BM.
in Pa. (USA) The boys bio dad
in Pa. (USA)
The boys bio dad bailed before birth and son is the only dad he knows. And mom doesn't want him either. But son does
Your son really needs to see
Your son really needs to see a lawyer. He has no legal rights to the older child. The BM can show up, say she is taking the younger child on a visit, and not return the child.
Yes, going to court will take time. But, it is time from when your son starts the process. The longer your son takes to start the process the longer it will go on.
we have been documenting to
we have been documenting to show the kids are here. So I believe at this point we have enough. I did the last 2 parent teacher conferences since she "didn't have time" and the last 3 Dr's appts for the baby for the same reason.
I made the 6mth appt and she cancelled 1/2 before because She's the Mother! So I am waiting to see if it is rescheduled
Your son is the baby's bio
Your son is the baby's bio dad. The baby is in his care. He can schedule appointments and take the baby. He does not have to wait for the BM to schedule.
Was the younger kid born
Was the younger kid born during marriage ? Is there any type of CO/ visitation ?
In my state the father has zero rights if the child was born out of wedlock and has to petition for any sort of visitation. Doesn't matter what you document , the BM has ALL the custody until a CO says otherwise. . Your son needs to get a lawyer and get legal custody of his kid. They won't give him custody of the older child ...he has bio parents , doesn't matter if they are deadbeats.
Get your son to an attorney,
Get your son to an attorney, yesterday. The longer he waits, the worse this gets. Do it now. No excuses.
If the son has a medical
If the son has a medical card, the mother is probably receiving other benefits for him as well. Your son is going to have to step it up if he wants primary care of his step son. The first step is going to DHFS and providing documentation that the child is with your son over 90% of the time. She may lose "her" benefits, oh frickin well. She's not even taking care of the kid.
Second, prove mom is living with a drug dealer, third, mom refuses time with the child. There is so much in your favor, yes you'll need a lawyer and it'll get ugly before it gets better.
Ok, I know my son needs to
Ok, I know my son needs to take this to court. That is a whole other fight.
We are in a more progressive city. To prove abandonment we need about 6mths documentation. (I checked) and since BM left both the step-son and the bio in his care he could conceivably get custody of both kids. Oh and I have friends in all area's of city government, including the Court.
I was told he could tell BM the only way she could see either of the boys was by court order. And given her current living situation she would have to petition to show cause. Son would only have to present her BF's criminal history, and her cousin's criminal history. Yes there are 2. We just found out she is allowing her cousin, the BF's best druggie friend live in the house. And the cousin (and his gf) are using the older boys room. If/when older boy goes to see her on those few overnights, he sleeps on the floor in her room.
Why hasn't he gone to court
Why hasn't he gone to court yet ? And depending on his income , the states attorney typically represents for free ( that's how it works where I live ).
Who told you he could keep the kids from the BM ? From what you have previously posted there are no CO's at all regarding visitation. And if the baby was born out of wedlock , BM has sold custody and your son basically has no legal visitation ( at least in my state ). If he refused to hand the kids over, all she would have to do is call the cops to force him to. Doesn't matter who she lives with , hangs out with etc. he could call and report her to DCFS , but they won't care about criminal records unless they are on the sexual predator registry.
As for the older child, he could maybe become a foster parent if it all went through the courts and BM didn't oppose to any of it. Does this child have no other blood relatives around ? You don't just get to keep a kid because the BM left him in your care - the state would decide.