I'll try to keep this short and to the point and not go on and on. 2BM's and 5 SK's to deal with. Latest problem.....SS-14. Baby of the family with BM 1. He was 6 when DH moved out. DH and BM's relationship still very bitter. DH has been back to court every other year with BM since divorce because she always needs more child support (apparently $800 per month is not enough for a 14 year old). We are in the middle of court case again as she filed for an increase in child support. BM has tried to alienate SS from his father but DH has managed to maintain a pretty good relationship with him or so we thought. But the last three months have been kind of an eye opener.

1st Incident: SS has bloody nose while laying on the couch. Doesn't tell us and I don't discover it until he leaves. I notice the cushions have all the zippers at the front of the couch. i go to turn them around and see all these bloody spots on the underside of the cushions. He didn't even attempt to clean them up or tell us so that we could. When DH asked him why his reply was...I don't know.

2nd Incident: SS caught looking at porn on the computer in the middle of the night when he is suppose to be in his room in bed. We discover it because I happened to get up and walk out to the kitchen to get a drink. When DH says something to him about it 14 year old cries!

3rd Incident: Chair is broken. Again discovered after SS has left from visitation. SS-6 goes to sit in it and falls to the floor. When DH asks SS-14 why he didn't tell us it broke his response is....I don't know.

4th Incident: DH has BM1 in his cell phone under B*tch1. Wrong, I know. But some how SS discovers this and takes it back to his mother and then her husband is calling upwset about it. DH apologizes and changes it. DH apologizes to SS and tells him that if DH does anything or says anything that upsets SS he would prefer that SS bring it up to him so they can discuss it. When asked why he took that bit of information back to his mother SS replies....I don't know.

5th Incident: SS is caught in my DD's room at 2:00 in the morning when she is away for the weekend. When asked what he is doing in there he replys that he is looking for a board game to play like Twister. DH asks him just who he intended to play with since we were the only other people in the house and we were in bed. His response.....I don't know.

6th Incident: Driving SS home (45 minute drive) DH and I are talking, just having idle conversation while SS is sleeping in the backseat or pretending to. I said something jokingly about the housing crisis and we could pick up a $5,000,000 house in Colrado for only $3,000,000. DH replies we should look in Florida because he is tired of dealing with snow and for $3,000,000 we might even be able to get a house on the water. It was just a silly, only dreamin idle conversation. Well SS (who we thought was aleep) goes home and tells BM that we are looking at properties in Florida and Colorado and are going to move there. Needless to say all hell broke loose especially since we are in the middle of a court case. When asked by DH why he told his mother that you can guess the reply we got....I DON'T KNOW. When DH asked if he is rewarded in someway for taking information back to his mother SS said no.

7th Incident: We went to Italy for a week this summer. We only have SS every other weekend so we never told him about it. My MIL was born and raised there and still has brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces there. MIL is 84 and not in good health so we took back some things she wanted them to have. We were gone for a week. We didn't tell SS because we didn't want it to get back to BM1. Well someone asked us while he was with us how our trip went. SS went back and told his mother we went to Italy on a three week vacation!

DH finally told SS that he could come back over when he learned to respect other people's privacy and could retrain himself from telling his mother everything that goes on in this house. He is scheduled to come this weekend but we don't know if he will or not. I am concerned if he does how to act because I am really disgusted. I don't feel "I don't knnow" is an acceptable answer from a 14 year old nor is crying. I don't want to have to lock everyone's bedroom everytime he is here. I don't want to have to watch every word that comes out of my mouth for fear it will be repeated to BM1. Any suggestions on how I ever feel comfortable in my own home again when he is here?