SS has no manners!! No support from Husband.
Like many step parents, I dred the weekend. Not only for the fact that my SS8 has ADD, but also no manners!! He throws temper tantrums like a 2 year old in public places, sits in corners, slams doors, plays video games all day, pees everywhere but inside the toilet, hates taking a bath and brushing his teeth, leaves dirty clothes everywhere, has no table etiquette,....I could go on and on. My husband will tell him "Stop" and that's it!! Are you kidding me?! Yet I'm the wicked step mother for trying to help teach him!! BM denies he does those things at her house but of course she will. SS also does things to BD that are completely rude and disrepectful like trying to roll over her, and putting his dirty foot in her mouth, pointing a toy gun at her head- I thought my husband thew it out but apparently not. I'm just so frustrated and drained. Sometimes, I want to just take my daughter and leave on the weekends when my SS comes over but I know that's not healthy for our relationship. On the other hand don't want my daughter picking up on his horrible behavior. Don't know what to do...
Try it a few times
It might not be entirely unhealthy for your relationship either because this kind of frustration isn't healthy for you. You might think about it, if you and your daughter aren't there for a few weekends your husband might get a little bit of an idea of what it's like to deal with his son full time when you're not there. Don't even let him know it's on purpose, just a casual little fun weekend trip for you and your daughter. Maybe you have family close you could go visit? Or a trip to a nearby tourist area? Of course there is every possibility the house is a mess when you get back... you could just tell husband you expect him to straighten up once step-son is gone as this is clearly not your mess.
I love that
I love that idea!!!!....sometimes it really does pay to adopt the "not my kid, not my problem" philosophy.
YES indeed....
let him deal with it all by himself!! He'll be a basket case by the time you get home!
I'll tell you what I told a friend of mine
She is a SM and has one SS12, he has some learning disabilities but his BM and her DH treat him like he is an invalid. She has some of your very same difficulties and no support from her DH. I told her to leave the mess for her DH to clean, she said there was no way, I say there is. If your SS is that nasty and your DH is unwilling to teach him then he, not you, should have to pick up the mess. As far as your BD is concerned you will have to step in and let your SS know that his behavior is unacceptable and correct him yourself if your DH won't do it. I know it's frustrating to have responsibility for a child but no authority, I say give the responsibility back!
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren