SS17 and Cell Phone
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My SS17 has a cell phone that he bought and pays the monthly bill for. He's CONSTANTLY on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat...whatever the craze of the day is. He's on Facebook as well, but he doesn't use it anymore because he's on my friend list and he thinks it's creepy and that I'm a "creeper". I found him on Instagram, via MY youngest BS18...but SS17 won't add me. He keeps himself up late at night texting, chatting, doing whatever. It just drives me nuts! In my opinion, the only reason he won't add me on any of his media sites is because he's posting things he shouldn't be posting. Anyone else get bothered by that? I don't even want to say anything to him anymore, though, because it won't do any good.
We don't allow that. I don't
We don't allow that. I don't care who pays for it. You have to set rules that he lives in your house and has to give you access to these things. But, that is only if you pay for him for college can you continue that rule once they leave for school.
I pay for my BS19, so he has to give me access. I am blocked from his feed, but I can see his. My home, my money, my rules.
It won't happen. He won't
It won't happen. He won't give up the info and DH won't enforce it, or make him. I guess I should be glad that SS17 isn't out screwing around, drinking, having sex, etc. He goes to school, goes to work, and every once in a while goes out with friends. That's better than some kids.
Yeah, if DH won't enforce it
Yeah, if DH won't enforce it then let it go. One thing I keep coming back to is that you CANNOT care more about the skids and their parenting than their own parents do. It's just a recipe for frustration and resentment. If his dad doesn't give a crap, why should you?
Edited to add: Oh, and when the girls were younger they were required to give both BM and DH access to all social media, passwords, etc. They gave them to me too - but I never, EVER checked. That was totally on their parents to do, I figured if they didn't care enough to stay on top of it then *I* wasn't going to play policewoman!
You have bios also, right?
You have bios also, right? If any are younger than him then make sure he follows the same rules they are required to. Otherwise he will corrupt them.
Yep, I do have Bios as
Yep, I do have Bios as well...but, they are 18 and 20 and out of the house.
THANK GOD!!!!!!
The rule in our house is that
The rule in our house is that if you want social media or anything else, we get the passwords! It doesn't mean that we look at everything they do, but our kids know that if we want to we can. If they change their password and don't tell us then they lose their devices. Sounds harsh but sometimes is the only way.
On the other hand, my DD15 is constantly on her phone/ipad also. She works, rarely goes out and is a good student. She is going through her hormonal teenage years, but otherwise is a pretty grounded kid who is happier to hang out at home in her bat cave and watch you tube, scour Facebook and read books. We rarely see her, and just from conversation with others i am coming to the realisation this is normal.
Yeah, the only time I am not
Yeah, the only time I am not cool with it is when SS17's grades start slipping...teacher's complain about him not paying attention in class, and acting like he's falling asleep, etc. Last year, he ended up failing 2 classes and had to make them up in summer school. I was PISSED, but I really didn't say/do anything about it. Not my kid, not my problem. Had it been MY kids, though...they would've been in some serious doo-doo!
DH is giving him a chance this school year to redeem himself. We'll see where it goes and what happens, if/when it does go south...the direction most crap rolls!
Why do you care? It's not
Why do you care? It's not your job to discipline this kid into being productive. If Daddy wants to consign him to a life and having his nose in a screen and digging ditches for a living let him.
Nobody will give you credit or blame for how this kid turns out, leave him alone. Read this: http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html