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SS17 has cut off communication with GU BM and she has really stepped in it this time

BabyDoll's picture

My SS17's BM has really stepped in it this time. My SS17 cut off communication with his BM over the Christmas holidays. He wanted to invite immediate and extended family members to his high school graduation that his BM doesn't like or get along with. Like a typical GU (Golden Uterus), she pitched a fit and wanted to know why he was going to ruin "one of the most special days of her life." Last time I checked, high school graduation marks an important event in a child's life. As his mother continued to harangue him, he told her that "if she was going to act like a two year old, that he did not want to talk to her." He also disinvited her to his high school graduation.

Over the last three weeks, she has left threatening voicemail after threatening voicemail (at least once a day and has threatened on multiple occations to have a wellness check/DCF investigation done).

A week and a half ago, she sent the police to our home to do a wellness check on SS17. He was at the movies with his girlfriend at the time. My DH explained to the officer that he knew what was going on and why he was there. He also explained to the officer that his son is 17, not 2, and if his son doesn't want to speak to his mother, that he cannot force him. Further, he explained that my SS17 has access to 3 phones attached to our landline as well as 2 cell phones. Everytime the BM calls and our SS17 is home, we hand him the phone. He immediately sends the call to voicemail. After my DH went in the house but before the officer left, my SS17 pulls into the driveway with his girlfriend. SS17 gets out of the car and starts speaking to the officer. When SS17 came into the house, he told DH that he told the officer that he was fine, all about is argument with his BM and that he doesn't wish to speak with her at this time.

Well yesterday, I received an hysterical phone call at work from my SS17. Apparently on Friday, his BM called his guidance counselor and spent 1 1/2 talking to her. His guidance counselor stopped my one of his classes on Monday to deliver the message. Low and behold late Monday afternoon, my DH and SS17 get a surprise visit from DCF who are there to investigate all sorts of wild accusations. My SS17 spoke to them and told them that it was an absolute pack of lies. After the investigator left, SS17 calls him BM and tells her again that she constantly lies to him and has had DCF visit him at school, at home and that he doesn't not want to speak to her anymore. She admitted that she did it and that she felt she didn't have a choice.

This morning, I spoke with the investigator and told him I understood what was going on. SS17 and BM are not speaking at the moment. SS17 doesn't want to speak to his BM. It is not appropriate for me to interfere in the relationship. He agreed with me. I told him that I knew who did it - SS17 gets message from guidance counselor to call BM. Because BM has made wild abuse charges (the investigator called them wild accusations) to the guidance counselor, she is bound by law to report it. I also told him DCF has been to visit our home over 10 times over the last 12 years because of unfounded reported abuse and although he was only doing his job, that all this upheaval was to the detrimental to the child. That SS17 had called me hysterically from school about his BM's call and that he sobbed in my arms after he confronted his mother and she admitted doing this to all of us.

What stupid BM doesn't understand or didn't think of is:
Smile Voicemails can be retrieved by cell phone providers. I contacted my cell phone provider to have all the lovely messages retrieved from voicemail with package information (the time/date stamp of each message) with a notarized statement as to the authenticity of the voicemails recorded on the cd.
Smile Police departments do keep police reports. There is a police report documenting her phone call to our local police department asking for a wellness check a week and a half ago. Yes, I checked and the police record lists her phone number. I am going to the police station during lunch tomorrow to pick up the report.
Smile Phone calls to most schools are recorded for security purposes. This includes my SS17's which announces this wonderful fact when a phone call is initially answered by the school's phone system. She spent an 1 1/2 slandering us to my SS17's guidance counselor. Hmm...
Smile If DCF finds the abuse charges to be unfounded, they will close the case. Furthermore, "(t)he parent(s) of the child, and any person alleged to have caused the abuse or neglect (aka me) may request a copy of the investigative record. This request should be made directly to the investigator or supervisor whose names are provided on the back of this brochure." Check... Already did this...
Smile That is a third degree felony to make a false report of child abuse or to counsel someone so that they feel compelled to make a false report. "A person who knowingly and willfully makes a false report of child abuse, abandonment, or neglect, or who advises another to make a false report, is guilty of a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083." (FL statutes Ch. 39.205) This individual is also civilly liable and identity of the reporter may be disclosed.

skylarksms's picture

GOOD FOR YOU. I was thinking that you should be able to file charges against her for harassment of some kind. Maybe on behalf of SS17?

When does he turn 18?

Too bad some of these GUs think that everything is about THEM.

BabyDoll's picture

We have spoken to my DH's attorney and he seems to think there is a pretty good chance. One of the reasons I am so glad she finally stepped in it is that my DH spent enough money to put 3 swimming pools in our backyard due to being dragged into court by GU on false child abuse allegations. Each time he went to court, it was thrown out. If we can get DCF to determine that this is a false report, they will look back at ALL of the false reports that BM made. (She has never been this bold before. Go figure.) Not only can BM be criminally charged for each false report (10 in all), BM can be held responsible for all the legal bills associated my DH's defense of himself against all the false reports (over $24K) as well as any additional damages.

BabyDoll's picture

SS17 is really a great kid. I have been an active part of his life for over 12 years and do not treat him any different than I would treat my DD22. He has worked hard in school, stayed out of trouble, and has been lucky enough to receive 2 full college scholarships. He plans to start college in the Fall. My DH and I are so proud of him and love him much! Smile