My SD is a sweetheart but I know she's got her moments where, when being told what to do, she'll stomp off in anger.

She tells me that her stepdad is mean to her, etc. I took it as he was merely disciplining her.

I don't say a lot regarding their family issues as it's really none of my beeswax, BUT..

When a stepdad rarely talks to his stepdaughter, I have a hard time believing that..but when there is no discipline between a stepdad and his stepson (they're very close) regarding telling his sister to shut the F up everytime she opens her mouth to say something, scolds her for making noise in any way, shape or form including talking on her cell phone; when I call her, she doesn't pick up but rather texts me and tells me that her brother will yell at her if she talks.

I had a chance to get together with my husbands ex's side of the family for dinner one night. Her hubby and my stepson had spent the day working on remodeling a house their family plans on selling.

When stepdad showed up for dinner, he was half in the bag, so he was obviously drinking the entire time he was working on the house with my 16 year old stepson.

My stepdaugher tells me that he drinks all the time at home, and obviously he drinks just as much when he's with my stepson. He sat next to me at dinner and stunk like a brewery.

As dinner went on, he proceeded to cut down his not feeling so well wife over and over, in a kidding sort of way, but with undertones of meaning it. She put up with it but the more he threw underhanded snowballs her way, the more her 16 year old picked up on it and started in with his own comments.

I thought it was completely disrectful and had to bite my tongue.

The conversation somehow turned to a child my husband had fathered with an old girlfriend. From what I understand, she wasn't a very good mother, but that's when my hubby should have stepped in..and he did inlcuding bailing the kid out of jail; calling the courts when he refused to go to school; taking him under his wing when this child was younger for weekends where this son of his picked badly on his three year old daughter; taking her favorite doll and banging it's head against a wall while saying, "This is what I'll do to you.."; until the head flew off while my 6 year old stepson stood there and laughed.

My hubby put an end to that in the short amout of time it happened, and disciplined, yet the traumatic experience stayed with my SD everytime forever to the point that she's afaid of her stepbrother to this day.

This child from another mother is a complete menace. He's stolen from my husband, called him names, has been unappreciative regarding anything and everyting my hubby has tried to do for him (including the time his son decided to follow a group selling magazines..that took him miles and miles away from home..and when he didn't sell enough magazines...they kicked him out of the "program", and he was left to get home on his own).

While his dad picked up the pieces for him, drove miles to pick him up, and gave him money and a cell phone while he put him on a one way bus home, back to his mom, since she refused to let him live with my hubby who was making a great living, back to his mom my hubby sent him.

Several months later, this son called my hubby and wanted him to buy him a car. No loan..just buy him one. When my hubby said he wouldn't do that, but he'd help him get a loan; he was completely disrpectful and posted on FB that his dad no longer existed...and that he was dead to him.

That hurt my hubby to the core and from there on in..he was done. He told me he was done being "used" and if his son wanted something, it would be a cold day. He'd done the best he could under the circumstances and maybe one day they would see eye to eye..just not now.

I plead for him to forgive his son..that he was young and stupid and that one day he'd grow up. Several months later his son had F you tattooed on his fingers and sent my hubby a photo of them. Underneath the photo he wrote, "This means YOU!!"

While many months later he sent my hubby a text that he and his girlfriend were having a baby and he wanted his child to know his grandpa. I pushed my hubby to reply, but his heart is so broken by this son he tried to hard for..I really think he's done with it and his feeling is that as soon as he gets attached to that grandchild..his son will do something to take that away also.

I've never heard of so much drama in my life regarding forgiving and forgetting, etc.

Anyway, during my dinner together with my hubbies ex and family; drunk stepdad started in on how kids need two parents to raise kids right. Yeah, he was referring to this kid my hubby had with another mother, as he went on and on about it. My stepdaughter stepped in and said, "Dad tried to help him and he even had him over for weekends until he banged my favorite doll against a wall and scared me so bad..he even threatened Mom so bad when he was a teeneager and threatened to kill her..and next time he'd bring his gun."

Drunken stepdad laughed and said that kids will be kids and can never keep their mouths shut at that age..and again..kids need two parents to be raised the way they're supposed to..

Again, obviously referring to my hubby while I was sitting right there. My stepson of course, picked up on it while my stepdaughter defended her dad, while 16 year old stepson said, "Dad works so far away..we hardly see him..I may as well call him "What's his name"

As my husband's ex disciplined and told him how disprespectful that was, he piped in, "Well, it's true" while drunk stepdad piped in and stated his case some more about bad parenting and how kids need two parents.

I bit my tongue til I thought I'd bite if off the way he was not only disrespecing his wife; but disprespecing my huaand.

What right does this drunk ass have to say about being a great example regarding parenting when he's drunk all the time?? He takes my stepson to bars to eat, and I'm sure lets him have a few beers while they're working on the house. Since then, it seems my SS has developed the idea that when he goes off to college, "College ain't for learning..I know all that and just need a piece of paper for a degree...college is pretty much for drinking and partying.."

His stepdad actually laughed and said, "As long as your studies are done..."

I lost all respect for this guy and think he's a really bad example for my stepson, but I'm only the stepmom, getting to stand back and watch. Talked to my hubby about it and he told me he can't follow him around..he'll have to pay the consequences if he gets caught for underage drinking/drunk driving, etc.

Amazing how drunket stepdad can go on and on about raising children with both parents...while being drunk as a skunk.