"The Talk"
Soooooooo when exactly do you have "the talk" with your kids. My skids are young but something they said last night at dinner kind of scares me. My oldest ss is 9 and the second oldest is 7. They both go to the same elementary school and I actually really like their school. The teachers are very nice and seem patient. Now at dinner I was asking the boys how their days were blah blah blah and the 7 year old tells me he has a date with his girlfriend tomorrow. Okay I just laugh at these things because I dont think date or girlfriend are terms they even understand. So I ask him where he is supposedly taking his girlfriend. He says to the garden because thats where kids go to kiss..............................I am worried. He says the teachers are not around the garden and I looked at the older one and he says he does the same. He kisses his girlfriend in this garden. Okay. So as much as I see teen mom and all these other crazy shows should I be worried? Should I speak to the teachers or playground aid? I kind of confused and so is my SO. He thinks they are to young for "The Talk" but my mom talked to me in elementary school and spoke of it often. Any ideas?
I don't think 'the talk'
I don't think 'the talk' should be like a one time deal. With my SD13, I've been talking to her a little at a time when certain subjects come up. I'm not sure how to do this with boys.. maybe your SO could think of something? There are also a lot of resources out there on the web that can help you.
I would definitely tell the teachers about the 'garden', so they know what's going on. The kids should not be out there unmointored.. especially if they're all kissing. Not that kissing is a huge deal.. it's just.. kinda weird to think of 7 & 9 year olds doing that.
The talk is not "THE" talk at
The talk is not "THE" talk at all. It is an ongoing conversation that should start when each kid needs it (kids are different) and continue until they are adults.
I recommend the book "Boys growing up" for boys. My mother bought it for me when I was ~ 10yo. When I turned 13 she followed it with "Men and their physiques".
Both are good resources that are written appropriately for pre-teens (BGU), and teens (M&TP).
Never mind. I just Googled both books and they are so damned old the internet does not have a clue what they are.
They are on the book shelf at my parent’s house. Next time I visit I can scan them I guess, so that I have a copy to reference. Copy Right laws probably would frown upon posting copies on the web but personal use copies should be okay. I can share excerpts from there.
Anyway, find a couple of age appropriate books, have the kids read them then discuss the content on a fairly regular basis.
Having a demonstrably affectionate relationship with their dad helps. I am not talking about bumping uglies in front of the kids or course, just healthy respectful affection and tenderness.
If they see the consistent example of a healthy, affectionate marriage on a regular basis it will help facilitate “The” conversation and is the best tool for teaching them the clear lesson of what intimacy is supposed to be about and what a caring relationship should be.
If nothing else, teach them the "No glove, no love" and "Wrap it before you tap it" mantras. If you start now they should have the message very clearly by the time they are in their teens. At least with the older one. The younger one may need a couple of years for the mantras.
However, with both young men interested in “trips to the garden” THE discussion should start ASAP.
IMHO of course.
Good luck
Maybe "the talk" should be
Maybe "the talk" should be with school officials who are allowing kids to be unsupervised.
Yep I now call this garden
Yep I now call this garden spot club garden. I shut it down yesterday my kids were embarassed but I am not their friend I am their parent. I spoke with the school officials with my kids and told them this cannot be happening. My boys were red in the face and saying mooooom but ya know what regardless of what they were doing why were they unsupervised for a split second what if something happened I mean were talking 2nd graders and 3rd graders. So club garden is now shut down and the boys are not to be kissing at this age crazy how early its starting.