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Talk me down, Tell me it's okay

DisappointedMom's picture

I'm so upset right now. My sd13 just went out of town on Wednesday. She's going with the band on a trip and not going to be home until Sunday. I expected that her Mom would call BF on Weds to make sure that he had everything and give last minute directions. Plus I saw a text on SD's phone from her Mom saying "Get an evelope at the babysitter's your Dad is all out." So I ask BF if the bitch has called, he says NO. Now I know that he's lying. Obiviously. (Let me point out here that I KNOW that the bitch is always going to be in our lives and she's GOING to call but lying to me about it is NOT okay.)
So I check phone records and sure enough he talked to her not once but twice that day. WHY would he lie? He knows my issues with that, he knows that we are trying to build trust back up in our relationship. He knows that in order to do that we both have to be 100% honest with each other.
Then this morning, while he was in the shower, (on a whim) I glanced at his phone. He missed a call from her at 11:26PM! There was a voicemail on there. Somehow he has neglected to tell me about it or what it said or the fact that she even called.
I sent him an email letting him know that I know that he's been lying to me and that's why I've been so distant lately. NO RESPONSE.
We are supposed to be having a "talk" this weekend but how the hell do I continue a relationship with a man that lies to me about his ex-wife???
Plus she recently broke up with her boyfriend......do you think that something is going on between the two of them? He claims to hate her guts..........I'm so upset.

steptwins's picture

MY DH called his ex "dear" this morning out front talking about the skid. I feel sick.

doll faced sm's picture

Since the gig is up anyway, ask to listen to the voice mail(s) she's left him. If he refuses, sorry to say, but you have your answer.

sassafrassey's picture

I don't think that it means he is back interested in her, but he should be transparent when it comes to her, especially since he knows that it bothers you.

My husband's ex text messages and phone calls go right into spam, it has been this way long before I came into the picture. He chooses when he will listen to them, but his kids are 18 & 22. I have always said that his kids are adults and his ex has no reason to contact him about the kids anymore. When we first started dating, she barged into my husband's house because I was there. She also told him that I was not allowed to spend the night there, (his 17, almost 18 year old daughter lived with him). She has never been easy to deal with, so I jsut don't!

Auteur's picture

Do you really want to put up with a lifetime of drama like this? You're not married to him so do yourself a HUGE favour and find a nice CHILDLESS man!! The step/BM stress will literally KILL your health so I don't recommend it to ANYONE!

Kilgore SMom's picture

Being a Sm is the hardest thing I've ever done there is no control at all. It is nothing like being a parents.If you don't have respect and honesty now. I would rethink a future with your bf. There are boundry that have to be set and not crossed when dealing with extended stepfamily. Men tend to tell us what they want us to hear and the what they want cause they don't want to hear what we have to say.