Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
I know that this is not
I know that this is not totally on topic, but my own mom did not. We have had our issues (due to her enabling my brother who is an addict-it has been horrible), but I give her credit. She never talked badly about my dad and always encouraged us to spend time with him. He never spoke a bad word about her, either. And their respective families never spoke unkind words in front of us. My parents were married for 15 years; I was 12 when they divorced. My mom cheated on my dad, so it was messy, but they made it work for the sake of me and my brother. Up until about 2 years ago, my parents and my stepmom got along well enough--they could be in the same room and even talk. But, now, they are not speaking because of my brother. But, at least I had all those years (I am 39) with peace between my parents and no PAS. So, it can be done-my dad is clear proof of that. He could have said a lot of nasty things, but he never did. And he was deeply hurt.
Same here-neither of my
Same here-neither of my parents pased. My stepdad didn't either. Ironically, my stepmother did try to pas me against my own bm. That is why I feel for pased minors and am grateful that my parents didn't do that to me, ever.
BM1 doesn't. She doesn't see
BM1 doesn't. She doesn't see SS14.
BM2 did when she had custody. Now she doesn't have custody and rarely has visitation, so she doesn't PAS that I know of.
BM3 does....she has 50/50 and feels the need to compete because of the situation. We have all my kids all the time, and DH's older 2 all the time. She lost custody of her son, and only has her daughter half the time. She's always afraid of losing that split custody. It's funny, because I'd really rather not have SD6 full time, but just wish BM would set more structure and be consistent. Oh well, whatever.
Me. I'm a BM too & I never
Me. I'm a BM too & I never PAS, my exH never PAS. We never talked badly about each other & we only had 1 fight ever in front of our then young daughter. Since then we've always made it cordial. His wife also never said a nasty thing about me either in from of my kid or their kids. It worked. They're stable & all the adults get along.
My current DH's BM is the PASer from hell.
Disgusting how she doesn't even care how this has affected those kids that are truly messed up. The skid that lives with us, is disrespectful to us both. I disengage & ignore the rude teen but when he disrespects DH, I have no problem jumping down his throat anymore. He can believe his mothers lies about DH but don't ever display that behavior in front of me again. Because I disengaged, this reprimand has started to work recently. Before DH would snap at me for doing this but now he sees I don't have to tolerate it in my home.
DH's ex didn't PAS.
DH's ex didn't PAS.
what is PAS?
what is PAS?
Parental alienation syndrome.
Parental alienation syndrome.
"Personally I see PAS as a
"Personally I see PAS as a form of child abuse and it should be handled in that matter."
Agreed.
I'm a birthmom and I don't.
I'm a birthmom and I don't. I actually go the other route and talk kindly of the ex and SM when given the opportunity. I do this for my daughter. They, on the other hand, have been caught several times talking badly about me in the car, thinking DD was asleep in the back. I had a discussion with exH about it and, to my knowledge, they have not done it in front of her since.
As far as I'm aware BM
As far as I'm aware BM doesn't PAS, and neither does my SO. They went through a period recently of not being able to even be in the same room together and didn't speak for months, but SO has always been very cautious about involving the kids in his relationship with BM. SD13 once asked him why he wasn't coming in to BM's house anymore when dropping her and SS off, and he just said that he didn't want to talk to BM because he didn't have any nice words to say to her at the moment, so he'd rather not say anything to her at all.
SO and BM are now best buddies again, "for the sake of the kids", and I kinda wish they weren't! But I applaud them both for never taking their anger with the other out on the skids.