I have been married for 3 years and with my husband for almost 6. My step kids are 9 and 10 now. In the beginning I was totally disregarded and disrespected by his ex. She crossed boundaries and made it point to let me know that she was still in control. I fault him for allowing her to be overly involved in our lives but before marriage I had made it very clear to him what the boundaries were. I could never be her friend but I am usually be cordial. It's hard to be a friend of someone who is on a mission to get her ex back. I did a lot for the kids because neither he nor she was financially stable. I didn't mind and didn't ask for anything in return other than respect. Somewhere before marriage they decided that financially it would be best if he signed over his rights and allowed her father to adopt the girls. Their mother has an illness that could possibly disable her at any moment and my husband was in such a bad place financially that he couldn't offer much assistance. She knew his financial situation because she helped him get into his mess so it was more of a sympathy thing than making him pay child support.

Where we are now? I honestly don't like the woman. I don't desire to have a friendship with her and I don't mind being invisible. She is still crossing boundaries and the last major incident was about 2 months ago when she text my husband with some foolishness unrelated to the children. I confronted her about it and she read me my rights saying that her husband was sitting right there when she sent the message. Lies! By the way she married my husbands friend. I told her to respect my boundaries. She said her and her husband was laughing about something and decided to tell my husband about it.