You are here

Upcoming Wedding Disagreement

KTANNE's picture

Submitted by KTANNE on Sun, 04/11/2010 - 6:07pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

Hi everyone, this is my first post and I have to say I am SO glad there is a website out there for the other mothers Smile My boyfriend and I are planning our wedding for next April and it is going to be in fabulous Las Vegas. We are both pretty excited except for one thing we can't seem to agree on - he wants to bring his 7 year old son to Vegas for our wedding. The reason I am having an issue with this is because no other children will be in attendance, we are having a drinks and appetizers pre-wedding welcome reception the night before, a short ceremony, and then a dinner reception that starts at 9pm at one of the hotel's bar/restaurants - not kid friendly events. My argument is that his son will be bored and I don't think it's a good idea to expose him to the Vegas world at that age and not to mention it's our wedding and we will have a kid in tow and in our room.... He is insisting that his son will be at his wedding no ifs ands or buts. I was wondering if you all think I am being too selfish as he put it or if I am in the right asking for this to be about us and not his son. We are having a party back home after the honeymoon for those that can't make it out to Vegas so he would be able to attend that and it would be with other kids. Thanks!

unhappy2happy's picture

Submitted by unhappy2happy on Sun, 04/11/2010 - 6:45pm

Both of my DH children attended out wedding and our reception. At about 9:00 my MIL and FIL took them home with them.. If your inlaws or another relative will be attending maybe they could take the little one to their room for the night.. I personally think it is normal to want his child there for the joyous event.. I know I would not have felt the same if my own son had not been at our wedding and reception.. Just a thought..

StepChicka's picture

Submitted by StepChicka on Sun, 04/11/2010 - 11:13pm

If bf wants his son to attend the wedding then it shouldn't take place in Vegas with no other children present. Or, like other people mentioned, the boy can attend the local family-friendly afterparty. No if, ands, or buts. Smile It's just plain inappropriate and unfair to the kid to subject him to an adult-only party regardless if its for his father's marriage or not.

Unless BM is a deadbeat I'm sure she wouldn't condone this either. I know I wouldn't. In fact in most cases, the other parent has to give consent for a child to cross state lines with the other. Perhaps you can use this tidbit to your advantage.

Good Luck.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 1:10am

DH might feel that if one of his kids is coming, why can't the other one? Would there be a family member of DH's who would be willing to watch SS?

When DH and I got married, MIL took the kids home early with her. They got to see their Daddy get married and be there, and they got to spend some quality time with their Grandmama.

AznEmpress's picture

Submitted by AznEmpress on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 6:30am

Oh my, I can see this discussion coming up in our near future... my partner has a 4yo daughter and if it's anything to go by... I think I'll be having a very similar discussion.

The only thing I can think of, even to now is that I want to have my dream wedding. He had his first wedding the way he and BM wanted it to be, now it's my turn to get mine... sounds but abiet selfish doesn't it? But if it's to be a grown-up event - with reception games and all - the attendees must really be grown-ups... it's not like we'll only be excluding SD. She can share in the pre-wedding photo's and after wedding day celebrations.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:25am

I don't think you are being selfish at all. I got married last May in a court house so SS could be included. If I could do it all over again, I would have gone away and had a beach wedding. I resent that it was made all about SS. It was OUR day. You should stand your ground. It's not like you are getting married in Disneyworld for goodness sakes!!!

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

KTANNE's picture

Submitted by KTANNE on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:46am

Thank you all for you advice on this hot topic I am dealing with. I love my soon to be SS and soon to DH so much and I just hope we can come to a compromise on this situation. Changing the wedding location just might have to be the solution unfortunately; we are both pretty set and excited about Vegas but if he wants his son there it might not get to be what we hoped and dreamed.