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Vent about MIL

SweetMom's picture

Every time we go over to MIL or if she comes over she puts him down. One Christmas at her house she invited all of us over because she cooked and his sister and her crew was there. His mom jumped on him for getting on the kids for being to loud. She has come over here and disagrees with everything he says and says he is arrogant. I myself think it's rude to put someone down Infront of their family, especially when kids are present. I could live without her ever coming over here. She's sarcastic and has a very dry sense of humor. She's been divorced from his dad for 30 years and acts like they seperate yesterday. The man has been with another woman for 18 years. This woman still has her wedding photo laying out from 40 years ago. She doesn't understand and thinks I'm immature because I've set boundaries with my h ex wife. My sd13 told us the other day she ate dinner at restaurant with Bm and them. My dh worries about MIL because she's lonely since she retired. Since she put him down about him being cheap, ( same woman that has no money problems because not only does she get retirement but she also gets 800 extra in alimony a month, paid for house) dh hasn't been over her house. She fell and blacked her eyes. We are thinking she lied about how she fell because she claims she fell and landed on her face in living room and it broke her glasses. I have noticed her vehicle that she parks by side door has a scratch on door so maybe she fell there. Something about her story isn't adding up. I don't want to be around her because of her nasty attitude and facial expressions but again I feel sorry for her because she's lonely and clumbsy. What do you do? I dread her. She also puts him down about weight, about my house being cluttered. She's even said I was a hoarder. My house is clean! My things are sentimental and neatly decorated and displayed. We have 4 people living here in a 1100 squ ft house. She has a 2,000 squ ft home and it's only her. She doesn't help us in any way shape or form. We don't tell her we think she waste money paying people to fix things that are not broken, we don't tell her her line green and yellow walls are ugly. She's always asking what to get for Christmas all through the year so the other day I asked her being friendly what she wanted and she tells me she wants a westhof German knife set block. I get online and they run 1500. For the set. I searched and the cheapest block set I found was at belk for 200.00. The bitch is a asshole and I hate her.

CANYOUHELP's picture

I should count my blessings that I do not have a MIL, I guess. I have enough problems with Skids; your post helps me realize things could be a lot worse for me.

The best advise I have when people are making your life miserable, is to disengage; just protect yourself and stay away from the mess completely. I have learned I cannot change anybody else--but I am responsible for how I behave and who I associate. Life is short and every minute wasted with people who do not like you, is a minute you cannot get back. You have to make your own peace in life and you really cannot count on anybody else to help you. You have to teach others how to treat you....staying away from rude people sends a powerful message of what/who you are willing to welcome in your life. You only have one life to live....

notasm3's picture

I will not put up with ANYONE disparaging my DH in my home. period. dot. Nor will I listen to anyone criticize my home, etc. My response would be a polite escorting them to the door to leave - like now.

I am probably older than your MIL. She's not too old to be responsible for her own life. Put her on ignore. She's not your responsibility.

Let your DH do what he wants with her. You don't have to do anything except be civil when you are unavoidably in her presence.

notasm3's picture

You are right. What I was trying to convey was to not go bat sh*t crazy when calling her out (or escorting her to the door). Cold (ice cold) civility while telling someone to STFU and leave can be very effective. Smile

yolo222's picture

question.. does her behavior bother your hubby?

I wouldn't be snarky back.. maybe you and your hubby just sit down and tell her that her comments etc are not acceptable in your home. Tell her it's hurtful.

If it bothers you that much.. address it. If you can live with it.. just let it go.. It's a tough call.

Acratopotes's picture

pffft why stress about the old lady...... it's not worth it...

If MIL comes to your house and makes her silly comments, smile and say - well you don't live here so you have no say in how I decorate....... MIL putting DH down in your house.... look her in the eye and say, one of our house rules are to respect people, thus if you can't adhere to my house rules, please leave and do not return.

MIL putting DH down at her house - simply stand up and leave her house... DH should do this with you, it's the only way she will stop being a shit head. She got away with it for years.....

I would totally piss her off and make friends with FIL and SM }:)