Vent Vent Vent Demented
Ok, DH is attempting to at least put a curb to SS7s constant whining. THANK GOODNESS!!!!! I think he feels me slipping away from him as I can't stand being around SS7 when he is constantly in drama mode. Constantly being rude, babyish and whining and throwing tantrums. He keeps trying to act like a lover to DH too, and DH keeps telling him to get off of him and leave him alone, but SS7 just keeps at him. On the flip side DH does a lot of lip service without actually stopping the behavior. Meaning he keeps saying no, but doesn't follow through with anything else. Although SS7 cannot go out and play outside this week because he took off two nights in a row after dark to play and scared everyone half to death. But since the weather is getting nice, I asked if they wanted to walk to the park the other night, and SS7 ruined it for everyone. Whining and acting like he was two. At crowded playground he looked like a freak clinging to DH and asking him to push him in a baby swing. Aaaaah. DH was embarrassed and annoyed, maybe he is finally noticing what everyone else does. (I can only hope.)
Then again, DH blew up last night when I asked him to carry SS7 to his bed as SS7 has decided that my living room is now his bedroom too. SS7 still pees the bed so I can't have urine all over my sofa and living room floor. I told him I don't mind if he falls asleep out there watching a movie with DH, but he can't sleep out there. This morning DH was all apologies for getting nasty with me, but I think he can sense I'm getting sick of his garbage as well. I told him, "Just because it is the easy thing to do, doesn't make it the right thing to do." Spoiling your kid doesn't take any brains, but raising them with some maturity and respect for others does.
Also last night SS7 made a disaster of the bathroom. He likes to stand up when he poops and it runs all down his legs and then he yells for his daddy to come and clean him up. (Yeah, it is disgusting.) DH uses babywipes and plogged up the toilet and then left it like that for hours until I asked him to please clean it up. Also when he pees DH will wipe him off with babywipes, rather than simply having SS7 clean himself or shower again. Demented stuff.
I live in this house and pay over half and make a lot less money than DH. I am not going to be treated like a doormat and have the things I paid for with my hard earned money ruined and destroyed. I am also not going to be devalued in this relationship because DH is being selfish and immature and caught up in "child worship" and the "adult spousal status" he has given this ungrateful twerp.
OK - I'm done venting for now.
I live in this house and pay
I live in this house and pay over half and make a lot less money than DH
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why do you pay over half if you make less and he has two people living there?
Because he spends all his
Because he spends all his money on gifts, eating out and outings for SS7 and himself. We made a budget that he never sticks too before he moved in, and he acts like he is doing me a favor when he shorts me on the rent every month. Oh, but I'm a witch for thinking this is not appropriate.
This also scares me he is so
This also scares me he is so crafty and evil sometimes. I have never seen any child behave like this. I've read some other skids will do this with permissive dads too though. Ive mentioned to DH that he could lose custody if he doesn't put a stop to all of it. DH finds it gratifying that his kid is so needy. He is just too stupid to parent in my opinion most days. DH has a daughter 4 who lives out of state and he could lose her if her mother got wind of any of this crap. Sd4 will be visiting Sunday and I adore her and she likes me too. Her BM and SF are doing a great job with her. Sadly I think DH would screw her up if he saw her more. I don't like her around SS7 either as I worry he may do something nuts out of his crazed possessive jealousy.
I think your skid should be
I think your skid should be tested for some sort of developmental disorder or learning disabiltiy. I cant imagine my kids at 7 "liking" to stand up when they poop when they know it will run down their leg.
He was tested before and
He was tested before and there is no learning disability. Quite the contrary SS7 is bright. He just manipulates insane ways to get his father's attention. He wants his father to be with him alone like a spouse. He will do whatever it takes to make sure he controls his father with his sick games. If DH tries to spend even 1 minute with me or anyone else when SS7 is here then he literally starts crying and throwing a fit etc. One evening DH actually spent some time with me watching a movie and the little creep reported to BM that all daddy does is sit in his room which of course is a blatant lie. Then he refused to visit DH because he wouldn't sleep with him. So now DH won't spend anytime with me and hovers under SS7s constant demands and bs. It's demented.
I've mentioned to DH he needs to stop touching SS7 just because SS7 wants him to because he is not a baby and it isn't appropriate. Right now it is 11 pm on a school night and SS7 is still up like a guard dog. He hates when DH is affectionate with me and will try and lay all over his dad touching him in a sexual way. We only kiss and hug to greet each other when we get home when SS7 is here. Who knows where the kid is picking up this stuff. I am trying to get his dad to get this kid to a therapist. His dad will tell him to get off of him but SS7 is like a tick.
That seems like a lot to put
That seems like a lot to put up with. Your DH doesn't seem like he is very invested in parenting his son, just making him happy. I'd set down some ground rules then seriously think about what you are getting out of it.
Every time we set rules DH
Every time we set rules DH will act like he is going to parent SS7 for a day or two, then SS7 feels like his control over DH is slipping and he dreams of new ways to get his father to coddle him.
I put some of my things in a storage and didn't tell DH. I am taking it one day at a time right now, but I really don't want to live like this.
I'm tired of the hostility from DH directed at me when he knows his kid is doing wrong and I naturally disapprove of the chaos and drama and gross displays of perversion and psychotic behavior. Nobody thinks it is acceptable except DH. I am not ok with being emotionally abused and bullied by all of this either. I have been understanding and loving and patient but it is starting to wear thin.
Like my DH always doing what SS7 wants him too even when it involves being a jerk to me. But SMs are labeled mean because we want our husbands and boyfriends to treat us like a spouse all the time and not just when skids aren't around. Ya whatever. Im tired of the fights because you can't reason with idiocy though I must be stupid because I keep trying.