Victory!
So a little over a month ago the rotten children called my husband and said they did not want to come back to our house. I was elated. Their reason we the typical unintelligent and invalid things they usually said when they were made... i.e. they couldn't have their cell phones at our house, they hated me, there was nothing to do and too many rules.
For the past year of their education my husband and I with no support form the BM have been fighting with the kids to make them accountable for their school work and it has been a long hard battle. Thus where the "rule" complaint came from. The funny thing is the little idiots do not understand that they controlled their own destiny and if they would have just put forth a little effort in school and maintained a decent GPA (we accepted two D's as ok) they would have been free to do whatever they wanted.
The thing that had been tough to take is that they refuse to see their father as well as talk to him. When they do speak to him they are usually very disrespectful and yell at him and tell him how it is and then usually hang up on him. It really hurts his feelings and I want to protect him. I feel that the kids are finally showing their true colors as they have been nothing but awful to me. But what do I do for my husband??
As a side note my marriage has never been better, we are happier than ever.
Me too. So nice without SD30
Me too. So nice without SD30 around. She told daddy that she will never have anything to do with him as long as he's married to me. Big crazy brat! After a 2 year absence, the princess has decided to launch an email war against both of us. She's called me every name in the book and goes on and on about what a terrible father my husband is. She's just crazy.
The best advice I can give to you is to sit back and let the brat self destruct. I used to try and protect my DH but it would blow up in my face as I was attacking his little princess. Of course it would be followed up with "she's still my daughter" blah blah blah. Yes DH, she is your daughter; aren't you proud?
Princess is mad because she is suffering the reprocussions of her bad decisions and she believes it's daddy's job to fix her life for her. She actually told him that she doesn't "understand why she can't have what all other fathers give their daughters without question". She also told him that "it's your job as my father to take care of me and make sure that I have a good life". This was followed up by saying "it's every fathers dream to give their daughter a car for her sweet sixteen". Well, she's now 30 so I don't know what this sweet sixteen nonsense is about. She also said "the parent is supposed to take care of the child. The child isn't supposed to take care of herself". I am not joking, kidding or exaggerating. This is EXACTLY verbatim what she wrote. She said "I am your responsibility and you aren't taking care of me financially or emotionally". "You are supporting Amber and her kids. How could you support those strangers instead of your own daughter".
Yes, the spoiled bitch thinks that daddy should be paying for her and providing the finer things in life for her. This is entitlement at it's finest. For 5 years, he gave her $1,000 a month. It was $500 spending cash, a paid for car (brand new at $25,000), her insurance, paid off tickets, toll evasion fines, her student loans (she flunked out of a state school and 2 junior colleges and didn't pass a single class). She had to pretend to go to college as that was the deal; he provides the car so she could go to school. He's estimated that he spend $50,000 in 4 years time bailing her out of trouble and supporting her. All this and she had the audacity to say that he didn't support her enough financially. My favorite was "I had to attend a state school because you wouldn't help me pay to apply to an Ivy League school". Um, you flunked out of a junior college you idiot.
I'm sharing my story with you so you can see that your not alone in your situation. These spoiled, entitled brats are everywhere.
Just be supportive without offering any opinions. Tell your DH that you know it's hard and that yours sorry that he has to go through this. Tell him you're there for him if he would like to talk. If he wants to talk/vent, then just listen and repeat "I'm sorry, I know this is painful. I wish it could be different. I know how hard this is and you don't deserve it". I know it's hard but don't say anything that could be perceived as negative towards the brat. It could get turned around on you. Our DH's know we won't abandon them so it's easy for them to take their frustrations and sadness out on us; at least that's true in my situation.
Once I removed myself from the equation, it made it easier for step-bitch to expose herself. All those years of my trying to get DH to see his rotten daughter for what she was didn't work. Letting her self destruct without my help was the best thing I could've done. Too bad it took me so many years to figure it out.
In our situation it worked. DH said that even if she apologizes (which she won't as she is BPD and narcissistic) he wants nothing to do with her.
I wish you luck and I'm sorry for you. Hang in there. Sorry I vented on your thread but it felt good. You have a nice day.
Amber
All ^this^ stuff. It's
All ^this^ stuff. It's exactly right. I have two skids gone now. Hard to watch my DH's heartache. But all I can do is hold his hand when he needs it.
Fully agree. We only have one
Fully agree. We only have one out of the nest on their own but one deceased at a very young age and another just turned 18. DH has a very hard time of letting go, especially when it comes to them growing up.
Be there for DH but remove
Be there for DH but remove yourself for the rest.
I was in the same situation like Amber.
The SD called me n my son all sort of names. DH even said SD enjoys hurting him but at the end of the day he also said she's still my daughter. I removed myself from everything related to Skids, blocked their phones n emails... Blocked their info on my son account too. Told DH I don't want to see them at my house, the house is actually mine, or cook or have any holiday celebration at my place. If he wants to celebrate anything, xmas, birthday, whatever... with them go to the restaurant. DH was not happy but he didn't have a choice. Told him I treat his adult children exactly the same way they treat me...because they're adult so don't expect me to treat him like children. That day is long gone. Whatever amount of money he's going to spend on them he has to put exactly the same amount in my son account...enough is enough.
Skids will never change and we just have to do what need to be done to protect ourselves and ppl we love. Because their toxic BM poison their minds since they were little so they don't know anything better and the cycle will continue with their children and grandchildren...Sad
Be there for him but protect yourself and your love ones.
Best of luck.
A.
These kids are brats. He
These kids are brats. He will eventually let go. My DH did and now sees my SD19 once every 6 months. He won't indulge the give me things because I exist, so she has no reason to see him. My SS17 is great, we are raising him.
You never discuss the SK's that don't come over, that is on DH, say nothing negative and he will eventually move on. I say nothing now and it is up to him if he sees her. She is not welcome here and he knows that. But, I do not have to be mean about it. Eventually they do give up on the kid and come to peace about it.