One year from today you will be residing in a place you love, at peace, relaxing in front of a TV you have complete control over or reading a good book and you will go to sleep that night knowing you do not have to put up with the B.S. you were allowing to enter your world in 2019.  OR you will meet a man who you know is the right one for you because you have learned the hard way what you want in a man.  The experience in 2019 has taught you not to settle for something less than you deserve.  Either way, you will be thanking your lucky stars that you left this a$$ in the dust.

I sincerely hope you remain on Steptalk as we need people with success stories to share with women who need that extra nudge.

I would rather be alone than be with a jerk who doesn't make me a priority.

Starting over, as far as dating, does not have to happen right away. Be with yourself for awhile. Pamper yourself and do what you want, when you want. Think of starting over, in this case, as purging all the trash from your life, making room for something new and better, that you will find when the time is right.

I know that it sucks and I'm sorry you are going through this. Like sandye21 says, you now know what you don't want. Don't put up with what you don't want, for one minute.

SuzannaK - it is totally normal to question whether it is worse to be alone - I think everyone does. In my first marriage, which died a long slow death, I would constantly think about what ex-H was bringing to the table vs. putting up with his condescion, moodiness and disengagement. I would ask people, how do you know when it is time to end it - response was always 'you'll just know'. At some point, the last couple years of our marriage, I no longer cared and would shut him down if I didn't like his tone of voice with me or the kids, for example. But I still had some degree of inertia about ending it - fortunately he did it for me. 

You seem to think a lot about age - I think you are 48 like me. I was 42 when I got divorced, 44 when I remarried. I knew that DH was a wonderful man but he continues to astound me every day with his kindness, maturity and generosity. I feel loved, valued and respected every single day - I think I only felt that the first couple years with ex-H.  My second marriage is 180 degree difference from the first. But if I had not met DH, it would have been better to be alone than with ex-H who is not capable of a loving relationship due to his own unacknowledged issues. My point is, people meet at all ages and places in life, and if you take some time to work on being the best version of YOU that you want to be, and you put yourself out there you can meet someone else.

Here's to your new decade of knowing you are worth it!

Congratulations on symtsrting your new life adventure and investing in yourself.

Give yourself some time.  Life will be good.

What s great way to start the new year.

Take care of you.