What will my relationship with my step babies be like when they are older?
I have been "mama" to my skids since they were 1 and 3. (They call BM mommy and me mama). I wonder what our relationship will be like when they are older? (They are 7 and 9 now.) This scares me. I can't imagine feeling like "they already have a mother" completely. I have thought it in difficult times, but it fades with all of the boo boos, giggles, yelling, special girl makeup time, birthday parties, time outs, homework, and tears. Will all of that disappear and me go from being "Mama" to a distant "stepparent" when they are older???
There is a neighborhood teen that helps out at my house sometimes. She once told me that her step mom and she aren't close because "she still feels new". When I asked her how long her SM has been her SM she said since she was three!!!! That freaked me out.
I have been in SD22's life
I have been in SD22's life since she was 2...dating her father then, and married to him when she was 4.
She still considers me another "mom" and even considers my (new) DH her stepfather. Funny, huh? She was in our wedding.
I'll tell you this, though... it's very similar to a parent-child relationship. It has hills and valleys, and the pre-adolescent/teen years are HARD. She and I knocked heads together, and I think the "step" thing exacerbated it. Of course, her father and I split around that time, too, so she had BM telling her she'd better never be around me anymore and XH telling her that I was evil and the reason her family was destroyed. I won't lie...there were some years in there that were awful. We really even almost stopped talking to each other for close to one year. It's hard work. But now... at age 22, she and I have a great relationship. She just vacationed with DH, me, and my bios for a week!
Whew. Good. I was beginning
Whew. Good. I was beginning to freak out. Like I just received a sentence of my skids for sure turning into strangers after all we have been through together.
I'm glad you and sd are on good terms!
Wow. You sound like mom of
Wow. You sound like mom of the freakin decade to me!!
I'll bet she will appreciate it someday. I heard children always want the parent they don't get enough of. If they act like they don't care to another parent it's because they get plenty of that one.
Having kids (skids) made me
Having kids (skids) made me see my mom in a whole new light. I thought she was awful before that, but after living with children I realized she was just doing the best she could. You sound like you're doing a much better job than my mom did. If I could learn to appreciate her, anything is possible! It might take years for your sd to get it (hopefully not) but I'm pretty sure it will happen.