It depends on what they say. If it's along the lines of "your kids are cute" I just say thank you. If they verbally call me the mother, I wait to see if the skids will pipe up with "she's not my real mom!" like they did at first, but then they stopped doing that and started introducing me as their "other mom" and then later I would just say "they're my step-kids, actually," After a while though, SS12 asked me if I wouldn't mind not telling people I am his step-mom and just let them think I am his "real" mom. I asked him why and he said so that he can pretend i'm his real mom and it makes him feel good. So, to respect his wishes, I usually just smile and say thank you or whatever appropriate response comes to me. My skids have a variety of affectionate nicknames for me that are variations of my name, but they also call me "Mom" sometimes. When they first did it (and SS5 was the main one who slipped up on this) they used to get really embarrassed, but both asked me if they can call me mom sometimes if they want and I said sure, no prob. They know who their bio-mom is and we all know I am not and don't want to replace her, but I will let my skids call me anything they want because I am one of their parents (and one of their moms) even though we aren't genetically related.

I have never gotten any comparison comments, which is good because I hope to God I don't resemble them in any way! They go through phases where they are cute, but in general it seems like they spend 95% of their time in an awkward, bucktoothed phase. When SS5 was three his round cheeks looked cute and babyish, but now that he is growing up and slimming, he has a tiny little body with twiggy legs and a large head that has stayed round (BM has a very round, fat face) and makes his body look off balance. He almost always has a sad, sulky look on his face and his smiles are usually a forced grimace that he does when people take his picture. A lot of his pictures look like those pictures at the dentists where they have people holding their mouth open with their teeth clenched together so you can see all their teeth and gums clearly. SS12 has a much more upbeat look to him, although he inherited BMs extremely crooked teeth and will definitely need braces. BMs teeth are so crooked that you can still see some of them sticking out even when her mouth is closed! I see her in both the boys, but I try to ignore it and focus on the fact that all they share is DNA and that they are their own people, not clones of her.

So, for the most part, I just smile and say thank you, but if the situation calls for it, I will do a little quick explanation or just say, "I'm the step-mom."

Not a problem for me-I'm black and FSD10 is white.

I get people staring blankly right through me saying 'Are you lost, little girl?'

I think it depends on the child. My SD would quickly correct anyone and say I was DH wife. We look nothing alike so that doesnt come into play...
However my daughter looks as if she is our BioKid, people always think that she is his daughter and when he says thank you or introduces her as such it makes her fill loved....She is 15 so she expresses things to me. On occasion he has said No...this is not my kid and then turned to his BD and said this is my kid. The big one is just the child who sleeps upstairs. Now that has crushed my daughter and made her feel unworthy.

With my ex-skid, SD14, it was easy. If someone said "wow Hannah looks just like you" I said something like "oh no, she's way better looking than I am". If they said something about "your daughter" I just replied as I would if they had said "step-daughter".

The honest truth is that I never had any bios and she was going to be as close as I was ever going to have to my own and hers was the only diaper I have ever changed so she was my kid and if she wanted to pipe up and let them know she wasn't, that was fine, but I wasn't going to do anything to make her feel like I considered her anything other than MY kid.

Of course now my Ex says she hated me and I was cruel to SD14 but I don't believe it and never will.

I don't think I'll ever be in a situation to correct anyone. Skids (especially SS) will be in the middle of correction anyone before they finish their sentence. He will introduce me as his dad's second wife, & his snide expression will make it clear that he doesn't approve. LOL!

I ran into this situation a couple of weeks ago with SD23 & the new grandbaby. Some people at the beach kept talking about how cute the baby was, asking how old and then the biggie - is this your first grandchild? Talk about putting me on the spot!! It was me they were addressing all the questions to, not SD23 or DH. Given the strained relationship with my SD23, I was very uncomfortable and really didn't know what to say and of course DH & SD23 were all ears. Just when I thought things had calmed down, the people got ready to leave and shouted 'congratulations on the new granddaughter!' SD23 & SD18 usually refer to me as "my dad's wife" - ugh! I have also had comments from strangers about how SD18 looks so much like me - I'm sure SD18 would flip out if she heard those comments!

He is mine so I say "thank you" and move on.

He is my StepSon but he is mine.

Best regards.

For me my SKs usually beat anyone to the question and just blurt out "she is not our real mom!" I thought for sure the summer camp counselors were going to think I was trying to kidnap this boy when I picked them up!
So typically YSS makes sure everyone knows I am not his mom before anyone has a chance to wonder about it.

My skids mother is of a different race. My husband was with a full blood Charokee Indian, so the children look like her, they are beautiful children, their mother isn't good looking at all and I'm not being rude or sarcastic. They have her skin color and face structure, but they have DH looks ( thank GOD ). But they would never mistaken my skids to be mine. My husband is full blood Irish with jet blue eyes, I'm Scottish and English with green eyes and dark brown hair. Kids have jet black hair and dark brown eyes. Because they are and look Native, I had one woman ask me if these were my foster kids from a reserve> That was out of line and I corrected her I said no they are my step children, my husbaqnds bio children. She just looked at me as if to say " what are you doing mixing with native children" . Some people's ignorance amazes me.

I get the "they look just like you" comment all the time because they happen to have the same big eyes as me. They are 4 and I've been their custodial step-mom for awhile now. I just say thank you and they don't blink an eye. I'm not even sure if the SD4s would understand why we don't look alike. They are identical twins that insist they look nothing like each other, lol.