whats she trying to pull?
DH got a call near 9pm last night from BM phone. The conversation went like this:
DH: hello?
Skid8: hey daddy, we're coming to your house this weekend on Friday and then we are going to stay until Tuesday, so you're gonna have to get us dressed and ready on Monday and Tuesday to go to our swimming lesson at 10:00 in the morning at the recreation pool okay?
DH: hello?
Skid8: hi daddy
DH: how are you doing?
Skid8: I'm doing good, how are you?
DH: I'm good, glad to hear you're okay. When you call someone to talk on the phone, you probably should start by really saying hello and then start with whatever you wanted to say.
Skid8: ok
DH: I think you're supposed to go back to your mom on Sunday evening, but we can talk about it when you get here on Friday
Skid8: but we are gonna stay until Monday
DH: we'll talk on Friday okay?
BM whispers something to skid
Skid8: but we really wanted to stay until Monday
DH: we'll talk about it this weekend okay?
Skid: okay daddy
DH: how's your brother?
And the conversation went on about 30 more seconds with them going back and forth with general things.
Sounds like BM and her mother have bitten off more than they can chew with two very active little boys that they have never kept for extended periods of time.
Why else would the 8 yr old call to give DH the rundown of what has to happen a week from now?
I've posted before about how BM has wanted to stick to the CO word for word until she finds something to benefit her more. There's no way she actually thought skids were staying until Tuesday, which is why she tried to whisper to skid to tell DH that they "really wanted to stay".
Not happening. She already gave me an unexpected vacation by claiming that she originally wanted June instead of July this summer, why would I mess that up? We have to take Father's Day, but those kids are going back at 6pm on Sunday and no later.
It really bugs me when
It really bugs me when parents try to involve their kids in this crap .. our BM does the same type of thing .. but it's usually the reverse.
Same here, I've learned how
Same here, I've learned how to not be so surprised by it, but it doesn't bother me any less.
That is exactly why we have a
That is exactly why we have a "pick up only" rule. When BM starts her visitation, she comes to FDH house to pick up the kids, at the end of her time FDH goes to pick them up at her house.
If she doesn't show up to get them, she foregoes her visitation time, (we don't have to wait on her til whenever she feels like showing up), and if she doesn't have the kids ready for FDH at the time specified, she is in contempt of.the CO.
What's her timeframe for
What's her timeframe for picking them up? Is this set out in your CO?
Has DH ever been sucessful at holding her in contempt for not having the kids ready?
I love this idea in theory, and would like to have something similar for our BM, but I can't imagine there ever being REAL consequences.
For instance, if she shows up 1-2 hours late to pick up skids and we don't turn them over, she would absolutely take us to court. She'd make up some excuse about being stuck in traffic (traffic is notoriously bad in our area) and be off scott free. And what can DH do? Go to court and say skids weren't ready to leave when he showed up? I just see it as a huge set up for disappointment (in my situation).
CO says 5pm times. FDH
CO says 5pm times. FDH lawyer has filed motions and logged the events, but FDH has never taken her to court over it. It is more legal record of when she is being difficult (WHEN AND IF THEY EVER GO BACK TO COURT). FDH lawyer just said its agood idea, if BM ever wants to try to take him to court there will be a stack of things against her.
If she shows up late to pick them up, actually the kids are happy, they don't like going to visitation with her.
If she is more than am hour late (she lives 45pm min away) FDH just sends her amessage saying he is leaving, that she should just pick them up tomorrow, or skip her weekend.
Sometimes she gives him crap about it,... But she dots not even give a courtesy call when she does this....
If you enjoy the kids, suggest a "drop off only situation" she cant be late to pick them up because your dhs drops them off at the end of his time, (depending on age of kids) if BM isnt there you just leave them. Her fault for not being there to let in the kids.
The "pick up only" works great for us.
BM is late picking them up just means less visitation time for her, because you better believe FDH is there at 5pm or sooner EVERY TIME.
BM is usually on time for
BM is usually on time for exchanges, so that wouldn't be an issue. But we have had several occasions where BM has tried to negotiate changes prior to exchange times. However, if DH requests a change, e.g. can I take the kids to dinner and then drop them off since I won't be off work in time to see them before their Spring Break week with you, BM shuts that down super quick.
LOL...sounds so much like my
LOL...sounds so much like my husband's ex....Except the kids are older.
When it's convenient they need to stay with us longer..while she parties. My skids even overheard her saying she was so happy the childsupport is loaded on her prepaid card the Friday they are with their Dad every 2 weeks, sos he can buy what she wants without them bothering her. How patehtic is that and they still worship the group her trifling self walks on. If we said that they would refuse to come over..which some days is ok with me.
I can't understand why some BMs have to manipulate and use their children. All the good moms out there please talk to these women...please! Oh and we have been back to court for her wanting the CO changed so many times the judges said he better not ever see us in there again..LOL awful.
"When it's convenient they
"When it's convenient they need to stay with us longer"
EXACTLY. When DH asked to be able to take skids to dinner and drop off to BM on Friday before Spring Break since they were with BM and DH wouldn't get home until about 10 mins before BM scheduled pick up time, BM was all "CO says 6:00pm, where will they be so I can pick them up". But then when she wants to send skids back early or she has something else to do on one of her scheduled weekends its "can we agree outside of the CO" to do this or that.