Aw, hbell...I'm sorry you're going through this.

Is marriage counseling an option? Or at least one more Serious Talk with DH? One where he understands this is the last chance?

On the less optimistic side, if you file for divorce, perhaps through the settlement you could afford your own home? I'm just mentioning that since you seem to feel trapped due to finances.

Dont forget to take care of yourself...

This was so me two days ago. But I can't stand the idea of being separated from my 2 DDs. We don't have my skids FT but their BM makes life horrible for us. Constantly causing problems for my skids and DH as well as me. Do we as SM's deserve to live this life. I knew what I was getting into and chose to take on the responsibility but if I knew it was going to be this hard would I have made the same choice? The answer is probably no. I have become angry and bitter as well to the point where I can't look at skids without getting an anxious feeling.

I was wondering how old your SD is. I believe in leaving if everything has been attempted to repair the situation without success. I saw someone's quote where they were leaving messages and really liked it, don't remember the name off the top of my head. Paraphrased, it said her life was changed when she became the devoted wife to her husband and not the mom to her skids. I have heard this from a close friend of mine as well. The moment she stopped trying to be a mom to her SD, she was much, much happier. Focus on your bio kids...don't worry about your SD as much. I can tell you are like me and you wanted so much to be involved but sometimes it just isn't in the cards. Good luck.

Wow, Marie D...I feel like we are living the same life. Such very good advice. I also wanted to be involved with my SD's (ages 11 and 14) but there is so much resistance from them, and my DH that I have just given up. It's sad because because they really need someone to be there for them. I just cannot sacrifice my marriage trying to make them happy. Whenever I make a suggestion to my DH regarding his parenting skills, we end up in a fight. It just isn't worth it.

This is why I am focusing on my little girls and my marriage. Whatever decision has to be made regarding skids, if it involves my life or DDs, has to be discussed with me first but if it doesn't, it is up to DH. I am too blessed to be stressed

I truly hope it works out for you! Your DH needs to understand your position. A good place might be marriage counseling (if he is willing to go.) That way, you can both talk with someone about exactly what is going on with a mediator present. I am also very close to this. My DH cannot communicate! I need someone to pull his thoughts out of him without upsetting him.

I can completey understand how you feel. It's tough because I know you really love DH and want things to work out, but is it worth it to be in a marriage and be miserable all the time? Because the bottom line is, it's not your SKID's fault, it is your DH's fault for not putting his foot down. He allows them to behave the way they do. Time for another serious talk with DH. In the meantime, keep saving up your money for your own place.

Is there any other place for her to live? does your dh realize that if he doesnt change that he will lose you and the other kids?

Honestly, your stories are part of the reason I cant agree to my ss13 coming back here and living. All i ever wanted was for my dh to step up to the plate and parent and support me, but he has never been able to when it comes to his son. I've given him years to show me that he can do it-but he just can't show me that so ss cant live here. Sadly, my dh seems to prefer this complete lack of relationship he has with ss to actually parenting him. But I figure that is his choice.