Why am I the ONLY one who thinks SD6 have problems and Mother in law is a bitch
MIL has been sending very romantic Shakespeare’s Love Quotes to my husband. My husband said, "This is just how she is, and I am a bit of a mom's boy. I will ignore her, but she doesn't mean bad." I told him, "Well, encourage her to send those love quotes to your FATHER, not to YOU."
SD6 has been very jealous lately of the affection DH gave to my son. Well, my son has never been mother in law's favorite, I don't expect him to be. I just want mother in law to treat both children equally. But the bitch has openly admitted to me that there will never be a day that she loves both children equally because she helped raising step daughter. I have accepted it, as hard and as painful as it is, I have accepted that relationship cannot be forced. I healed my wounds and moved on. My son is only three, I figure as long as he has both parents love him so much, he doesn't need this toxic grandmother.
DH has been buying my son toys and spent a lot of alone time with him, SD6 is very jealous of that. Also, I caught sd6 masturbating several times and played with my son's penis in his room. DH had a talk with sd6 and she said, she saw HER MOTHER did it to HER new husband one time. We were furious and called the BM. BM denied the whole thing but promised to lock the bedroom door. Case closed.
Somehow, bitchy mother in law got the news and blamed ME for making a big deal out of nothing. She said, "Girls are curious and shame on you for embarrassing her." What about my son, you filthy bitch?
I am furious. I need to vent and I need to find some coping skills. DH has never had any balls standing up for me against his mother. His lame excuse is always, "My mom raised me, my mom is my mom, what do you want me to do?"
I am really at my wits end. Any suggestions would be appreciated. How do I get my husband to realize I am not the problem here, mother in law is intrusive, sick, and sd6 needs help?
^HA HA HA^ You crack me up.
^HA HA HA^ You crack me up. And so true!
yep! I just will never say
yep! I just will never say it to my DH though because that will surely hurt his little feelings! :jawdrop:
exactly! thank you!
exactly!
thank you!
hell yeah! But guess what? I
hell yeah! But guess what? I am the one who made a big deal over nothing.
I should keep the family secret within the family, I should not raise my voice, but everybody has the right to walk all over me.
Life is so fair, isn't it?
In our house... if MIL
In our house... if MIL disrespects me, DH tells her where to shove it and refused to have contact with her until she behaves herself. Right now we are in the middle of him not speaking to her because of some stupid crap she left in my voice mail. MIL is nuts....
I wouldn't be with someone that would not defend me when needed.
right. This is exactly why I
right. This is exactly why I am thinking about divorce. I am so sick and tired of them constantly bringing me down and make me looking like the trouble maker. I need to be strong for my son, but the mere thought of divorcing and putting my son in a potential step parenting situation makes me very sad.
You need to do what is best
You need to do what is best for you and your son. If your husband doesn't understand or support that, then being with him is not what is best. I am an advocate for trying to make it work. But sometimes it just doesn't....
RIGHT!! Exactly! I kept on
RIGHT!! Exactly!
I kept on thinking why does my husband refuse to see the very "obvious", now I get it. He has been raised by dysfunctional, potentially mentally ill mother and he has viewed this behaviors as "normal." This is why DH and I will never be on the same page in term of dealing with his mother.
SD6 is a good kid, and I caught her playing with my son once, I hope this will stop, but I am not going to put my son in this situation ever again. My first and foremost role is my kid's mom, I am not going to put my son in harms ways.
I will have a talk with DH tonight and I am going to tell him, "You have to choose between your mother and our family." I will let him know his mother is no longer welcomed in my family, if she insist on butt in our business, My son and I will leave!
Jesus! That's ridiculous! I
Jesus! That's ridiculous! I don't even have my own child yet and my MIL has already stated that SD is and always will be her favourite, because, just like you said in your post, she helped raise her. And she has 2 other grandkids from DH's brother, one who is an adorable little 3-year-old girl, but MIL has openly admitted that she still favours SD, because they have a "special bond" that the other two don't have. And then she adds insult to injury by saying that she's getting older and so there's no point in trying to ask her to babysit any potential future kids I have because she has already worn herself out with the other 3 and she's just not doing it anymore. OK biatch, I don't even want kids for a few more years, so hopefully you'll be "too old" by then to even have a relationship with them. Have fun living in the hole you dug for yourself with your big mouth. And I too have problems with DH not standing up to his mom for exactly the same reason. She's still my mom, she raised me, etc. But the thing is, hes DAD and grandmother raised him. His mom only saw him EOW and usually she ignored him and spent time with her new husband! She even said she could never tolerate kids for more than a few days at a time so that's why she never fought for custody....instead she left DH with his alcoholic, abusive father and angry old grandmother. Then, a few years ago she bought him a ring and gave him a framed picture of herself for NO reason. It's like the love quotes thing. That's definitely a gift you would give a boyfriend, not a son, and a framed picture of yourself? I'm sorry, unless you are a couple and you happen to be nude or some sort of boudoir photo, it's just cheesy to give someone a picture of yourself. Even nude and boudoir photos are cheesy. It's SO frustrating! It's a wonder DH turned out so well...much better than his bag of d*cks family, who are clearly the joint mayors of "inappropriate-familial-relationship-ville"....
Jesus I looked up the
Jesus I looked up the definition Emotional incest, I think my mother in law and my dh have the exact toxic relationship of emotional incest.
MIL has never been a happy woman, I believe in her heart, she thinks my DH is her DH, and my step daughter is her daughter. That makes me sick!
She doesn't like DH's ex wife, well, she doesn't like anybody DH dated or married to. However, she tolerated her (ex) because she was not the woman my DH loved the most. Since I am the love of his life (his words, not mine), she all of sudden has a problem.
She has been making my life a living hell.
She has this sick fantasy in her head and she believes I am the other woman and my son is nobody. I can tolerate the way she treated me, but when my son came, my view completely changed. I guess you can call that motherly instinct. The way she treats my little boy is totally unacceptable.
My DH is a mom's boy (He even admits that himself, that is so unattractive by the way), not completely his fault, but he never realized his mother is the problem. He always tells me, "Just let it go, tomorrow is a new day, ignore her, what is the big deal, what do you want me to do? cut her loose?"
Fighting a no win battle here, very frustrating.
yup!
yup!