Why do I feel guilty?
Last night I sat down in one of our chairs in the living room and found myself quite uncomfortable because something was, how shall I put it, obstructing the comfort of my derriere. I got up and pulled the cushion out and found a baseball, a pair of scissors, trash, small toys, etc under the cushions. I began pulling all this crap out and threw it in the floor. BF calls the boys down (13, 10) and starts fussing at them about cramming this crap under the cushions. We remove the cushions from the other chair and the couch and find all kinds of crap. I THEN move the couch out and find garbage behind the couch and a WHOLE PILE OF EMPTY SUNFLOWER SEED SHELLS. Now this is after I did a thorough cleaning of the house when I moved in back in Feb. In front of the boys, I asked BF for permission to throw away anything I find in the future under these cushion. He said absolutely and SS13 says "oh that's nice." BF immediately reprimanded him and told him we had worked too hard to clean the house and it was unacceptable for them to do this kind of thing and if they didn't care enough about their belongings to put them away then they would get thrown away. So, I'm happy that BF backed me up, but for some reason I felt guilty the rest of the night like I had done something wrong and broken the "harmony" of the house. If this had been my BS or BD (which they never did btw), I wouldn't have thought twice about getting on to them and setting down this rule. But because it's his children, I felt guilty. Does anyone else feel like this when they "get the Skids in trouble"? (At least that's how I feel like the skids view it.)
I can understand. I can also
I can understand.
I can also appriciate the father of a childhood friend, as he remodeled the attic for his 5 kids and had them live up there...
5 beds with particions between them ( was a very big room)
dressers built into the walls for each
and in the center a living room with TV for the kids to hang out.
I bet his wife just loved him as not only was the mess contained to the attic space... it gave the parents and kids privacy.
I watched him remodel that attic himself when I was in the 5th grade. It took him a year as he did it after work and on weekends.
They lived there for many years after.
A playroom is a great idea. Maybe you have some attic or basement space?
Thank you for your response
Thank you for your response Jeans, but inadequate space isn't the problem here. 3,000 square foot house with a bonus room and each boy has their own room. I close the doors to their room and they can keep it as messy as they want. We only ask that once a month they do a cleaning where we inspect the rooms to make sure there is nothing growing in there.
The issues of stuffing this crap under the cushions is pure laziness and disrespect for the home. Which is why I asked that we throw things away if we find it stuffed under there again (maybe I was wrong for that?). But my question had more to do with why do I feel quilty that I'm the one that basically "caught" something they had done that they know they shouldn't and they got in trouble (fussed at) for it?
I have no idea why you feel
I have no idea why you feel guilty... maybe they did it on purpose just to tick you off.
You can go down ion the basement or wherever your electrical panelboard is and turn the electricity off to their rooms and computers instead of fussing.
You can train yourself not to over react and say things once and follow through with actions that will make them be more respectful of your space.
If it were me, I'd put the sunflower seeds in their beds.
lol