I totally understand how you feel. When I first met my present husband after my job relocation my life so great. After 28 years of an extremely bad marriage he was a breath of fresh air, so good to me. we both worked for an auto maker here and held good jobs. I had a nice apt. in Saint louis. We started getting serious and he thought it would be nice for him to stay at my apt. during the week since it was close to our job. We were so spontanious and did things a lot. He made me feel so special. One day we just went into pennys to read all the tee shirts with funny sayings and had a blast. My stomach hurt from laughing. It was so precious. He would find one and hold it up and say look. vote for pedro lol. being from alabama i found one that said hey yall and held it up and laughed. On the weekends sometimes I would go to his house which was about 30 miles south in the country to see his children. They were 19 and 20 he would mow ar take care of things then sunday it was back to the city. Of course he called them everyday to say hello and see if everything was good. I felt God had intervened and somehow sent me to saint louis so we could meet. It was that special. Sometimes his daughter would come and stay for a week or so. She is very mildly autistic I did not even notice anything except she had trouble reading. Having only sons i enjoyed having her around. someone to go shopping with, get a bite to eat, it was really nice. We talked about getting married and decided to after a year and a half. It seemed so perfect. I discussed that his home would have to be remodeled. He had some bad breaks. When his childrens mother passed away he had to find a house and take his children full time. they were 9 and ten. I admired him for doing so. Working full time at a hard job and raising 2 children alone is hard. He just never seemed to finish the house. I told him together we can turn this into a home. and so we put our money together and did just that. My nightmare began when I first moved in. His daughter would start finding shows that was a must see for them every day. She would find movies to rent, of course I never got asked for suggestions. I started spending most of the evening in the bedroom alone. When he came to bed I was usually asleep already so if we were going to get intimate I had to be awakened. She would stay up and watch TV then decide to come in and tell her dad goodnight. If the door was'nt locked she would walk right in. I had a friend make me a sign that read keep out parents asleep. It did'nt matter she would come in still. I started sitting up in the bed and saying" OK i'm awake now thanks"She knew I got up at 3 in the morning but did'nt care. I have never met anyone so calculating in my life. Here I was married, a newly wed but could'nt spend time alone with my husband. If we began to shower and dress she w ould come to him and ask him if she could go. I would say I'm finished dressing and ready then he would say SD is going to come with us. I bit my toungue. I had a 14 year old in the house but he seemed to be of no concern to them. A few times i tolerated it then would try to do something with my son so he did'nt feel neglected. She did'nt like that either. Finally it got to the point when one day we were invited to breakfast with my in laws who are really nice people. I finished dressing and said ready. He said SD is going to come along. I said ok I think I'll stay here and have breakfast with my son. He was insulted and said they are expecting you. I said I'm not going. Can we ever go anywhere by ourselves. I feel like I'm living whatever life she allows me. I asked him one day "Do you not like spending time with me?" He said I love u of course I do. I said then why do we always have a chaparone? I need space. Where ever we go she goes. I want us to do things as a family but my son has no part of anything here. All he seemed to worry about was her. If she did'nt get her way she pulled the dead mom guilt card out. She knew just how and when to do it. We used to play dominos and yahtzee at the table she would come down with photos of her mom, dad, her and her brother constantly and interupting. I spoke to him about taking her to a therapist maybe she needed grief counciling also she never saw a doctor relating to her condition. Why? He had excellent insurance like me, I don't know. By this time I was in therapy trying to learn how to save my marriage. We took her for an appointment brought the medical records with us. The Dr. put her on a mood stabilizer because people with her condition experience bad mood swings. The next thing I knew her half sisters were calling and threatening me. Her brother came one night while we were gone and told my son I was going to leave here in a body bag. She had told them I tricked her. A constant lier which they all knew she did. I told my husband "I feel sorry for you but I cannot take it any more" He assured me he would handel it.But of course these things were never handeled together. I decided this time I was going to say my piece. When i confronted SS i said" If you ever have anything to say to me say it to me and not my son. Leave him out of it. He denied saying it. I told him i guess now you're calling my son a liar so while we're face to face i want to tell you a few things. I'm not taking any more crap from you or your sister. I'm not afraid of you because there are 3 numbers and they are 911. I also told him no harm better not come to my son or I will make it my business to have you arrested. I also asked him if he thought his dad deserved a life after all the years he spent pampering them. My last question was "OK did you say it?' He said I may have i don't remember. I said we'll start from scratch but we both know where we are coming from now right? He said"yeah." I said do you want your dad to lose things he worked for because if I leave he might? Unless you're willing to help him pay his bills then be my guest. He and I speak but I have zero trust for him and he knows it. But we are how can I put it, cordial to each other. She is now in assisted living thank goodness, and my husband is in counciling with me. It shows me he does have feelings for me. Though I must admit mine are not as strong right now I pray for them to return. He is showing me respect and concern so I feel there is hope. My son is in the Air Force on his way to a bright future so we finally have time alone. My SD and I do not speak my councilor said I need space from her. We have been to family functions, I have even been in the same vehicle with her at times I cannot allow her to rule my life anymore and he understands.