Wish me luck....vacation starts tomorrow
We leave for vacation tomorrow morning....2 bios, 2 skids and our 1 year old.
DRAMA will begin in about 6 hours!! BM will make SD11 (6th grader) feel bad about going on vacation with us and SD will start her anxiety attacks where she cries, paces and then starts praying. BM will send 100 texts and call her phone non stop for the rest of tonight.....and around 10 pm DH's phone will ring and it will be BM worried about poor SD11 b/c she is crying and BM doesn't know what to do .....then BM will be driving to pick her up....or DH will take her to her back to her moms.....OR BM will show up outside my house and SD11 will go sit in her car for an hour crying........if for some OFF chance she actually sleeps at our house tonight....she will cry all night and keep DH up and he'll be tired and cranky all day tomorrow. If she doesn't stay the night....DH will have to leave for an hour round trip in the morning to go to BM's to pick her back up....leaving me to handle all the last minute vacation stuff alone...
When DH arrives at BM's in the morning (we are supposed to leave home at 7am)....SD11 will still be in bed.....BM will say that SD has been crying and it will be a whole shit show. I will be hours late to leave for vacation and at that point I won't even want to go anymore.
BUT...when all this is over and we finally get on the road....SD11 will be the happiest kid on earth for the next 6 days (other than being clingy to DH but she can't help that hah) and might call or text BM one time.....perfectly normal and fine functioning kid on vacay with her family.
This has happened EVERY SINGLE time we have gone ANYWHERE.....Disney....the beach...camping.....even one night quick trips........the same mother effing song and dance.
Wish me luck!!!!!
The phone goes away tonight
"Oh, no, we have to let it reset for the vacation because [fill in dumb reason here] and that takes [fill in number of hours until you leave]."
Then DH responds to BM texts to him with: everything's fine or "can't talk, we have to let our phones reset for the vacation because [fill in dumb reason here], won't be able to talk until [fill in some time when you're already on the road]."
I wish! DH wouldn't dream of
I wish! DH wouldn't dream of taking the phone away from her.Poor baby might get upset.
All I can say is that I have already told my DH that if this all happens AGAIN.....as I'm sure it will....this will be the very last vacation we take as a entire family, at least for the next 4 or 5 years.
But poor baby is getting upset WITH the phone
Wouldnt he rather save her the heartache of all that drama and just go on an ice cream run or watch her favorite movie together with dad?
She will find a way to call
She will find a way to call or text BM. She would use her sisters phone or DHs....nobody tells her no...ever.. I forgot to say that the 100's of texts go both ways. SD will make herself sick when the sun goes down.
We've down this road and back....they could do ice cream and a movie and a shopping spree....but when it's over.....she wiggs out again so it's pointless.
You and DH are adults. She
You and DH are adults. She is 11. Take control. Just do it.
I’m disengaged. I tell skids
I’m disengaged. I tell skids nothing and address nothing. Plus if I did she would just start crying and go to moms anyway.
Don't tell her when
Just don't tell them when. Or tell them a time that's further out than when you actually leave. Then just leave "early."
I told them 7 am hoping to
I told them 7 am hoping to leave at 10 haha
If this has continuously
If this has continuously happened for the past few years how about sparing youselves the BS and take the phone from her when she arrives. Your H is doing this to himself, each and every year and you all have to deal with the crazy drama and theatrics. Who the hell has time for that nonsense? You're all going on vacation bottom line, no need for the crying, the BM texting, swinging by, asking if she's ok......Don't allow BM the space to do that...You have to put an end to this and if you can't because your H can't man up than you have a problem....He needs to find his back bone and shut this nonsense down that occurs each and every year.....
I agree. This happens about 3
I agree. This happens about 3 times a year on the regualr.
DH won't do anything...I most definitley have a problem there......there is no back bone when it comes to BM and skids. I think BM hangs his back bown from her rear view mirror.
He would never take the phone and he would never not do exactly as she says....and he wouldn't DARE tell BM She can't swing by and see the little princess.
Stop complaining about SD
You should be complaining about your DH, Who does nothing but play S.D. and BM GAMES, DH is the problem, the whole problem
To be fair I complain about
To be fair I complain about dh a lot. Lol
Okay, then can you leave today?
Can you and the non-high-conflict kids leave today? Just avoid it all together and leave your DH to his spineless flailing?
I considered it. But as I
I considered it. But as I mentioned if it happens again it won’t really matter because this will be the last “family” vacation we ever take.
taking 5 kids on vacation is stressful enough....without the added drama.
I was going to say
I was going to say exactly that. "See ya', DH. Have fun dealing with your kid. We will meet you there."
This is a great idea. Better
This is a great idea. Better yet would be to leave SD11 at home. Maybe after she missed a vacation (hopefully one everyone else raves about for months) she'll change her ways. If not, leave her home again. Why should everyone not take family vacation for years because of one pre-teen drama queen and her BM?
I’m just not taking DHs kids
I’m just not taking DHs kids on vacation. I’ll take my kids....dh and I can take the baby....dh and I can go alone...dh can take his kids.
any combo that doesn’t involve me and skids will be fine.
Wow I’m good! If anyone wants
Wow I’m good! If anyone wants an update.....it is about 6 hours after my post and the call just came in.
DH was supposed to pick up both kids at 8 because of course BM made plans to keep them as long as possible. Phone rings at 7:30 and it’s SD11 hysterical....saying BM will just drop her off in the morning. I find this odd since she can go away with us for 5 days but can’t sleep at our house??
that never goes well because they don’t get out of bed until noon and always late and now there will be drama at the late drop off.
DH told SD that we are pulling out of the driveway at 7 am with our without her. But we will get a call at 7 saying they are running late and dh will wait and we will leave at 10.
So as usual we have to start our vacatiOn with Bm sitting in front of my house for an hour in the morning while sd does whatever she does
I dealt this constantly with all 3 skids
sd23, ss 21 and sd14 who lives with sd23.
so ground rules were placed end of last year. If hubby wanted me at family events like wedding etc, the following are to be obeyed:
- we leave on the dot, if thats 8am then ss is in the car waiting before 8am. If i have 2 toddlers and myself to get showered, makeup done, dressed, nappy bag done and house cleaned by 8am on my own, that is a reasonable request. Ss21 not ready at 8am, boohoo we friggin drive off.
- if we are meeting sd’s they are ready on the dot
-if we are going to family events we do not pick up sd’s as they have a car and sd23 is perfectly capable of driving or arranging her own transport. We do not detour ever, not the day before or day of. There is no this last minite bullshit where suddenly the evening before we depart sd23 tells daddy she will be ready and wants us to pick her up. It is a 1 hour detour to and fro. With 2 toddlers in a car, where i am not consulted on these change of plans, we do not detour ever
-sd’s respect our car rules, no eating or drinking for the 1-2 hour trip because our kids get carsick, they know this and our kids will tend to vomit if they eat in the car and the moment sds eat our kids cry because they want food and drink and with a trip already delayed further making this detour to sd’s then them being not on time despite being warned 1.5 hrs before and when we are 10mins about to arrive, this is non negotiable
if above aren’t respected pr followed through on, me and our kids don’t go. My sils know know if then don’t see me at family events and sd’s are there with ss, they know the reason why is a combination of the above and because they are disrespectful to my kids doing things i tell them not to... a few times of this abd sils will pressure hubby to end this shitstorm drama from skids
leave @ 7am without SD and Dh
leave @ 7am without SD and Dh.
Wow. This is so pathetic and
Wow. This is so pathetic and disgusting that it is nearly unbelievable.
Your DH needs to make your home a no cellphone zone during his visitation time. No texting or calls with BM during Dad's time except under direct supervision of Dad.
Once Dad's time starts, there is no interferance by BM tolerated. My assumption is that this interferance is only one way from BM toward's your DH's time with his kids.