Added private schooling costs

Forums:

I am a stepmom of 2 girls ages 9&11. I've been with their dad 6 years. The kids mom is remarried and they have been apart 8 years. There's no jealousy and for the most part we all get along pretty well. My hubs and I would like to have the kids over more but we both work a ton so they r only over every other sat-mon/holidays/few weeks summer. Anyway their mom recently enrolled the older one in an all girls private school. In court orders it says to discuss all matters such as doctors, schooling religion with other parent but mother has the final say unless father wants to contest it in court. My husand isn't totally against her going there , but we cannot afford the tuition as it's close to 10k a year and if the other one goes well 20k a year. He already looses 55% of his check with taxes and support and we both work alot to pay bills. We arnt rich but we arnt poor. We are ok. Anyway before she enrolled her he talked with the kids mom aboyt not being able to help financially with their private school and she was fine with it. She said she never asked or planned on asking and she was able to get several grants and financial aid for her. Between child support and taxes from claiming kids she gets about 16k a year....she has told us she gets about 4k per year per kid since she works under the table. Needlessly to say she does pretty well. The kids live pretty good and its probably best for them to live in this normal routine with their mom. Anyway, she recently asked my husband if he wanted to join her for their daughters orientation which is really nice, I want them to get along! I guess apart of me keeps thinking that if anything went wrong (paranoid because of past fights) she would take him back to court for this crazy high amount of added support for private schooling. Does anyone know if this is a normal add on for nys? I've tried to look it up and I've read it could be discretionary or if the parents agreed together...which if he goes to these meetings, isn't it kind of saying he agrees to it? She's been so so nice to us the last 2 years and she has even helped me get a second job recently. Am I paranoid of kindness?

The only reason I said she

The only reason I said she does very well is because she also works under the table for $22 an hour and they all are on Medicaid to me if I made that much and didn't have to pay health insurance and got extra funds I would say I'm doing pretty well. There's no jealousy or resentment I'm just saying that's my opinion I'm doing pretty well

What part of NY are you in?

What part of NY are you in? I live in Brooklyn and $22 an hour (even if it is tax free) is not a lot of moeny especially when you have 2 kids to help support.

Is 10K the amount she has to pay after financial aid or is the actual cost for attending the school? That's pretty darn cheap for private school.

I can't imagine a judge here would order dad to pay in the situation you described. They may order dad to share is financial information with the school each year in order for them to determine how much aid the family actually need in order for the kids to attend.

A word of caution, If those kids are attending anot independent private school, and mom is applying for financial aid, the school will require you and your husband to submit income information.

Why is that semantics???

Why is that semantics??? Public school equals free. Private school equals tuition.

Of course Catholic school is private school.

We live upstate ny. Very very

We live upstate ny. Very very different from nyc. This school is one of the best in our area. All rich kids go there. Pricing and costs are so so different than nyc. 22 an hour under the table is pretty good money here.

She already did submit

She already did submit paperwork and got the most financial aide they allow which is 50%. She never asked us for financial info....

Good, so chances are she

Good, so chances are she isn't dealing with an independent school. They require EVERYTHING from bio parents and step parents.

*******

Sensors only one child this

Sensors only one child this year after grants and financial aid it is $4,000 so no not all of it will be going to private school but maybe eventually if they don't get grants in the future and they are both in private school.

^^^^^ this was Medusa's modus

^^^^^ this was Medusa's modus operandi.

When I was able to prove her income was far more than it actually was, not only did she lose her Medicaid, but she had to pay back in full.

She also lost her food stamps, and had to pay those back, too.

She is banned from receiving either for the rest of her life.

I have no problem reporting people like her.

When we weren't good 2 years

When we weren't good 2 years ago I did anonymously aND clearly nothing happened. My dh says she's been working under the table since he met her (12 years ago)...There's so much welfare/medicaid fraud in nys its sickening. I pay a big chunk of my paycheck for our healthcare.

Basically when my dh went to

Basically when my dh went to court, they didn't care how much she makes, that's only for medical and daycare split costs which there arnt any since her mom lives with her and watches the kids. He was imputed at his old full time rate and he had a lawyer.

This thread pissed me off at

This thread pissed me off at the part about "under the table". I think it is time for DH to put BM in prison for tax and welfare fraud, take custody, then nail her ass to the wall for insane CS so that it accrues while she is in prison. People who work "under the table" while collecting tax payer provided benefits at the least need to be in prison. My choice would be to just shoot 'em.

My wife used to work as a Medicaid fraud examiner and in those days her happiest days at work were when she helped put someone in prison.

Put that criminal waste of skin POS away for a long time, take the kids, and keep her burried in a pile of CS and CS arrears. I would.

Grrrrr!