Contempt filed against ME
Here's the scoop. My ex has missed visitations or has been over 30 minutes late to most of his visitations for over a year. I finally got fed up with these about a month ago - tired of sitting on the side of the road at our "meeting place" wondering what time he will show up or IF he will. I've documented e v e r y t h i n g.
So I filed for a change of custody. In the mean time, I told him that he can start picking her up from my house at a decent time (he's shown up at 10:45 pm before, DD is 5) and in return, I will pick her up from him. That way if he decides to not show, then she can go about her day like normal. Because, you know, she's not an idiot and does ask where he is.
So for a man that doesn't pay child support or hold the court ordered medical support, he got a fancy attorney and has filed contempt charges against me. I have NEVER once said that he cannot have her. If he's late (45 mins +), I go home and let him know he can pick her up from me there. This is ridiculous.
My question is, what are my reprocussions, will the judge really find me in contempt? I probably shouldn't have just changed things around like that, but really, if he doesn't show up it's a waste of everyone's time.
Well, the other thing is we
Well, the other thing is we have changed the modified the order a lot and I've documented that as well because we are allowed to, so the original order doesn't really follow what we have been doing.
So, the fact that he's saying I'm not following the order, doesn't really stand either because we've changed it based on HIS needs.
Also, I did file a new motion and we went to court for it, but he was really late so it got pushed out to December.
If you have the documentation
If you have the documentation that he is 45+ mins late and to the pick up place and gave him an alternate option after that point then I can't see that being contempt.
Don't be worried. It's all
Don't be worried. It's all part of the game. You file a motion, he files a counter motion, etc. If you have documented everything, then it will work out in your favor. The only repercussion that I can *see*, based on what you have written here is that a judge may decide that there is no *proof* that neither parent was being negligent with the CO and will do what a lot of judges tend to do and just give you two a tongue lashing about trying to be more co-operative "for the sake of the child" and will grant neither your motion or your ex's.
I understand in highsight,
I understand in highsight, what I've done is not right and I should have followed the order to the T and never adjusted it in the first place. Which is why I've made a lot of specifications/requests this coming time around and yes, if he's not there in a certain time frame he forfeits (I will request this, that is). I always sent him a text of when I'm there and taken a screen shot. He also responds showing how late he is, or sometimes he doesn't respond until an hour and a half later. Whatever the case, I always take a screen shot of the time, date and excuse and input the data into a running spreadsheet.
He's also claiming he isn't notified of her doctor's appointments, schooling or daycare. Which is incorrect and I also have screen shots of those conversations. It's very exhausting.
Update: BD5's father and his
Update:
BD5's father and his lawyer have decided to drop the contempt of court against me (we didn't even talk about it) and notified the judge at our last court date. Surprise, surprise.
Somebody probably calculated
Somebody probably calculated for him the amount of CS he would have to pay should he lose. LOL
Another update: We went to
Another update:
We went to mediation on last Thursday. I explained to the mediator our situation and BF began to nay say me, so I handed the mediator the text messages depicting every situation I was referring to. He read each one and offered them to BF, who declined to read them.
The mediator went on to say that he (BF) expected a lot (and gave very little) and that because of his (BF) actions we will never have a good business-like relationship. The mediator went on to say that the court will not make us meet halfway, because being that he HAD a great deal, he basically blew it and needed to redeem himself mightily. Like the day he decided to not show (or be late, whatever his excuse - he wasn't there), BF EXPECTED me to call him to notify him that he was late and that I was leaving the location - the mediator stated the courts would never put that responsibility on me during his visitation days. Unless he was hospitalized he had better be there.
We now have a new arrangement and a court ordered deadline. If he's not there within 30 minutes of his visitation, it's no visitation at all. No excuses.
I also received a text message from him today notifying me that he and his lawyer will be dropping the contempt charge.
Nice! I don't like the fact
Nice! I don't like the fact that he has a 30 minute grace period though, but I suppose that is because I've lost ⅛ of my life waiting on my ex-wife. LOL. Seriously, how complicated is this guy's life that he can't make it to the pick up on time?
I tried to make it fifteen
I tried to make it fifteen minutes but because he threw a fit, the mediator set it to 30 minutes. His life is not complicated, he is unemployed. There are no excuses. I told the mediator he (BF) only has to get her twice a month and there's an issue/excuse every time, I'm tired of putting our lives on hold for someone who can't give the same as he gets.
His lawyer is not a good deal
His lawyer is not a good deal for him, drops the ball on everything. Driving me nuts already. This mediator has actually made me burst into tears by the end of the session before. I couldn't physically debunk my ex's lies so the mediator ended up siding with him on almost everything, a very traumatic session.
However, this time, my ex buried himself and I just let him do it.
Well, I do not cause drama in
Well, I do not cause drama in his life nor intrude on his time with BD5. I like his girlfriend and so does my daughter, so I have no qualms (even if I didn't personally like her, wouldn't make it my business unless it affected my daughter).
Every time we have gone to court, it has been his decision to file so I just go with the flow.