Custody fight of the century in PA
If anyone has a similar story, I'd love to connect with you. We are from PA. My husband and I were married 8 years when his daughter, age 26 was murdered by her husband. She was six months pregnant and had a 2 year old. If there was any kind of abuse going on, we were not aware and I know all the things to look for. Step-daughter was an only child and her mother was also deceased from MS. We were given the 2 year old initially but knew in our hearts we could not raise him. A wonderful family member (couple) on my side of the family came to us and said they would love to adopt him. Young couple with two small children of their own. Financially secure, everything we wanted for him. Being totally naive of the court system, we told the county children and youth agency that we could not raise him but this is what we wanted. Trying to make a long story short, the ex-girlfriend of the murdered, with whom he had 2 other children (boys ages 8 and 9) was given custody!! This was in February 2017. We were aghast that this could happen and immediately hired a lawyer. As the months drug on we were told she was going to adopt, get used to it. As we got closer to working out a post adoption contract giving us visitation rights, we began to feel something wasn't right. Turns out, this woman was having daily phone contact with the murderer, allowing him to talk to the older two boys every single evening. This violated a court order that our grandson have no contact, either direct or indirect, with the murderer (his parental rights have been terminated). The judge came to her senses and gave us kindship custody of him. Now we have filed for adoption but the judge is still refusing to make a final decision, dragging her feet and the children and youth agency of the county is still supporting "foster" mom because "the child has bonded with her."
I have no words... I am so
I have no words... I am so sorry for you loss and the emotional toll this has to be taking on your marriage. I am sorry for your grandson, to be torn and thrown around like he has been is horrible. I just hope that you guys do get the adoption through and your grandson will have all of the support he needs, it sounds like a long road to recovery for everyone.
I'm in PA too. I can't speak
I'm in PA too. I can't speak to any of the custody or adoption issues -- I haven't been though that.
What I can speak to is the power of the press. If you'd like some guidance on how to get your story out there, I might be able to help. If you're near me, I know some of the better reporters and media outlets. Send me a private message if you'd like to consider this option. There are no guarantees, but when I was with a newspaper, I wrote an article about an abused dog and $$$ started pouring in for his care -- $30,000+!!! I couldn't believe it. People do rise to the occasion to support in many ways when they see injustice.
I know it's not an ideal option -- you lose privacy and you have no control over how your story is handled once you put it out there. But sometimes these judges feel the public pressure when their name hits the papers. You might even end up with some agencies or other help offered, but again, there are no guarantees.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I believe committing such an inspeakable act should reduce your rights to zero.
How in the hell?
Did the court think the ex-gf of the murderer would be the best choice for adopting the poor child? What in the world? Yeah, I'd go the media route if necessary. ANYTHING to prevent this perversion of justice.
PA is the most ass backward
PA is the most ass backward state in the country! (OK, that's not really true, but it's pretty bad.)
I think it's gotten like that everywhere!
What ever happened to common sense and/or logic??
Did the court think the ex
No, the court originally thought that keeping the (half) siblings together was a better option than separating them. But, now that the child has been removed from the ex girlfriend the chances of her getting the child back are slim.
we have definitely considered
we have definitely considered going to the media and we plan to do so if things don't go our way in the end. We are very afraid of endangering ourselves by provoking this judge. She has proved herself to be volatile and erratic.
Sounds like
ex-GF KNOWS someone high up.
I've thought the same thing
I've thought the same thing but I can't imagine it. I think it's that she has worked the system her entire life.
Update
Last hearing was May 8. Court ordered evaluation by psychologist was a month ago and she went on vacation without writing a report even though we told her next hearing was July 10.