Have you ever calculated how much child support will be paid
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Now that our child support is over and done with( since 2009), I calculated every penny that had been paid out to BM for child support and for legal fees. It came to a little under $50,000. This was over 18 years because DH has been paying since the kid was born. I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot, but he was 21 when it started, so he didn't always make a lot of money. We also had a very good attorney that kept BM from getting any kind of raise for 10 1/2 years. We also didn't have to pay for medical support or for any extras.
So, have any of you ever calculated how much your DH has paid(if you are done paying) or will pay BM over the years in support?
Are you proud your dh didn't
Are you proud your dh didn't pay medical?? I am a step mom for a second time, and I would never stop medical payments. Paying cs covers daily life nothing more.
i dont think she sounded
i dont think she sounded proud...why would u assume..maybe her hubby pays enough cs?
also bm gets child benefits that DH doesnt get...
Some dads arent even aware when their kids go to the hospital or the dentist and then surprise they get a nice bill through the mail...
Your right. I am assuming
Your right. I am assuming because of her stating how their awesome attorney stopped this.
Some dads don't know, your correct. My ex never knows. He has no legal custody of the kids. We have to spilt medical costs... Which really means I pay, add them up at the end of the year and get them added to the arrears in cs!! I am kinda pissy with the whole cs process right now in my personal life. So I am sorry.
Ugh!!!!! I shouldn't lash out over cs at others. Just dumbass ex is in arrears and my kids are being covered by my boyfriend for their school clothes and it bugs me!!! Plus the ex just taken back to court by his 1st exwife for cs and he lied about what he pays me!!! Than lied and said he turned his gi bill over to the kid so his cs would be lower. Personally done with cs at the moment.
i get u! its never
i get u! its never enough..never! why is it that the system doesnt see this?
the women get everything...three kids with three fathers, thats ok...
move in with 5 different men in 14 yrs, thats okay! move 15 times in 12 yrs, thats okay...
Change jobs every year, if not every six months...THATS OK!
kid changes 5 times elementary school, thats ok! 4 times in high school, OK!
The dad has been living with the same woman for 12 yrs, hasnt moved in 6 yrs, same job for 10 yrs..etc...He's considered the bad guy! with no rights, just PAY PAY PAY!
I have never understood it
I have never understood it not being about the best for the child. Stop with parental rights crap and make it children's rights!!!
My children have only ever spent 1 week at lOngest away from me, 9 &7 and dad has been gone 4 years doesn't help with any responsibilities. Actually had the nerve to tell me he is "helping me" by spending time with them!!!
My brothers ex has 3 kids 3 dads living with her oldest kids grandparents.. Doesn't help him with homework or brush his teeth but sure the courts think he should be with mom!!!
When will it truly be about protecting the kids??
He did not have to pay
He did not have to pay medical because it wasn't in the divorce papers. Besides that, BM always worked the system and stayed on welfare. She had three kids by three different fathers. If he paid medical, she would be responsible for some of the copays and such and that is not what she wanted.
copays??? what r copays??
copays??? what r copays??
Okay... Sorry. Tired of bm's
Okay... Sorry. Tired of bm's working the system!!!! I only ever got assistance when I first left my ex.. I had the clothes on my back and my kids in my car. It took 5 months to find a Job and 3 to start getting cs.. So yep... To get away frOm an abusive husband I took all the help I could for 3 months..
Do you (or he) realize that
Do you (or he) realize that if they had been married, he would have paid out MORE for the child's care than he did in cs? Have you figured out how much that comes out to per month? $250. For most kids that doesn't even pay for half of the cost of their food. And that included legal fees! I'm not sure what point you are trying to make. Children need care, and that requires money. And when they don't live with one of their parents, that parent should pitch in.
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have no desire to figure
I have no desire to figure out how much DF will end up paying in CS.
He helped to make those kids, so he should help support them.
I recently read the estimate
I recently read the estimate cost for the average kid in the U.S. inception to age 18 is 1/4 million dollars. Makes the price of condoms literally miniscule.
How on earth was child
How on earth was child support not changed in 10.5 years? No lawyer can stop a support modifciation if the numbers change. Not a one...
The modifications didn't go
The modifications didn't go through because I had a child one year, it was delayed asking for a DNA test another, then the AG didn't pursue it further, I had another child and she wouldn't cooperate with giving information so we got it thrown out another year.
And, we were able to get our case thrown out of the AG court and put into a family court. The AG judge(or whatever he goes by) will just rubber stamp anything the AG wants, where a family court judge (especially one who has been through child support and custody hell himself) will actually look at the NCP side of things and not put up with any bull from the mother who has three kids by three men and doesn't want any of the fathers to see those kids.
Long story short…..our attorney and the judge were both members of the same "good ole boys club." Gotta love small towns.
So this means he paid ONLY
So this means he paid ONLY about $230 per month? :jawdrop: Geez...and you're whining about it? No offense but gold digger attitude right there, sorry.
My DH, for the past 5 years
My DH, for the past 5 years has paid BM $66,000 in child support (tax free for her). AND he pays ALL extra expenses, INCLUDING clothes, shoes, boots, haircuts, medical, dental, haircuts, sports fees (she is in a competitive sport) EVERYTHING. BM has yet to pay for a haircut. SD barely has underwear at BM's house. DH takes SD to EVERY doctor, dentist, orthodontist appointment. He attends EVERY school function, parent teacher interview and he coaches her sports team. (BM doesn't drive...how convenient)
(we have 50/50 shared custody on paper but ACTUALLY have SD 70%.)
ITS an effing joke!
BM is a really really expensive babysitter....(is how I think of it....she does no actual parenting).
Thanks for making me calculate this amount today....(sigh)
Wait....here's the thing. I
Wait....here's the thing. I know i've complained ^^^above^^^ here but the thing is. DH loves his daughter. He would have paid for ALL OF THOSE THINGS had he never divorced. SD11 and DH have the closest, most genuine relationship I have ever seen with a Dad and his daughter.
BM and SD don't have that relationship. SD knows she cant "rely" on her mother like she can on us, financially and emotionally. She has a safe and secure life with us.
C'est la vie.
I know posting this will make
I know posting this will make me sound like a gold digger.. But it's not like that.
My SO is paying more in child support than I make a month. And the BM doesnt have the kids half the time when they are with her. She doesn't work... Yet we have to pay extra for a babysitter when she has them (court ordered). He pays for them to have good insurance but it's an HMO. If she doesn't get a referral we wind up paying the medical bills. The lawyer (laugh laugh laugh cause he was a joke!) didn't even offer to have child support modified in court when the amounts were determined. He just said ok to what the standard percentage is. So, I am now looking for a second job so that we aren't living paycheck to paycheck. Why should he work harder to provide for her and her new husband to drive new cars when they use child support for car payments. We drive old cars that need repairs we can't afford.
Yeah. This is a subject I am very bitter about. It should be a federal law that the custodial parent has to pay taxes on child support and show to the courts where the money goes.
Btw. Tax payers pay her grocery bill and electric. We are paying for the house they live in!!
Not what we have paid but I
Not what we have paid but I have calculated what we received from the SpermIdiot. ~$43,000.00 over ~18 years. Which compared to the USDA estimates to raise a kid from birth to age 18 in our income bracket is less than 20% of what it cost to raise SS. The SpermIdiot got off cheap.
From birth to age 2 he paid $110/mo from age 2 to age 12 he paid $133/mo and from age 12 to 18 he paid $380/mo.
I would be embarrassed if all I could provide to raise my kid for 18 years was $43K and even more embarrassed if I never paid a dime of that $43K out of my own pocket and asked my mommy to pay it for me as my Skid's SpermIdiot did.
You need a license to vote and to drive but any idiot can breed.
The good news is that I have been dad to my SS-20 since he was 1yo and he has grown to be a young man of character and intelligence who has put the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool (the SpermIdiot) far behind him.