Mediation, Arbitration, or Family Court?
I posed this as a blog but I'm guessing this probably the more proper forum. So DH and I are starting to move towards gaining a custody agreement with BM. Her antics over Valentine's Day and pulling SD into the fight were just way over the line, and I think we've both realized that legal action is inevitable. But we're not sure which route to take. As I see it we have three options: mediation, arbitration or family court. Mediation is my favorite in theory (partly because it's by far the cheapest, partly because it seems the least threatening) but I'm worried that's only a route that would work with a rational non-psycho, which BM obviously is not. So does anyone have any insights on this one? Any experience with which one is the best way to go?
In PA they force mediation
In PA they force mediation before they'll let you see a judge. That being said, if one party is completely irrational, mediation is useless. You know what dh got in mediation, despite evidence that Wingnut was...well, a wingnut? Supervised visitation 2 1/2 hours away from our home because that is ALL Wingnut would agree to. She wouldn't budge despite the pleadings of the mediator who told her it would look very bad for her in front of a judge. We had to do that for 8 months until it went to a judge.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
I concur. We went to
I concur. We went to mediation and it was a complete waste of time. BM would not agree to anything and the mediator had the nerve to tell us we might as well give up because the judge will never give us full custody!
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Go straight for Court IMHO.
Go straight for Court IMHO. Get the judgement and use it as much as possible to keep BM under control.
Once the Custody/Visitation/Support judgement is in place then you have something to work with.
Even though we have overwhelmingly had our way in court, I have never left court anything but pissed off. Even when you get what you want, what is right, the whole family court situation is a truly skin crawling experience. Every time we have been to court I have left feeling like a had to take a shower.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
Our mediator was a real
Our mediator was a real bully, so it was a very disappointing experience. I was hoping the atmosphere would be more positive and we could compromise on key issues, but we were blind-sided by her several times.
If we were to do it again, we'd probably go to court.