Mediation with Lawyers.
Background... My hub and I have been married for 11 years have a 8 year old. Last summer we were seperated and he had sex with another girl. Well she got pregnant. She had the baby in March. Also a paternity test was done and he received the results in May. Since then she has not let him see the baby and will not talk to him. Lawyers are involved and temp orders have been filed. Now, it has been agreed upon by both parties to go to mediation (which will happen in a few weeks). During mediation both lawyers will be present.
Really the only thing that really needs to be mediated is custody. Her orginal complaint asked for sole custody with standard parent time for him. His temp order was asking for at least joint custody sharing 50/50 time.
Just looking for some advise especially from BM or anyone who has gone through mediation. Any advise of how to make this easy on both sides?
Mediation can work in your
Mediation can work in your favor if you want to drap out issues. It is a way to prolong court proceeding indefinetly. Let me say that you are in a very difficult situation & I wish you the best.
Mediation can work if both
Mediation can work if both parties are willing to come to an agreement. You and your DH have to decide what you are willing to live with and give up.She has not let him see the baby since birth. As a BM, I would not want to send my 4 month old baby away to Father so soon after birth.
Her lawyer will make sure to include a complaint for child support. Any Good lawyer would. Get ready for that.
Well I do hope that she does
Well I do hope that she does not drag this out. He is willing to come to some agreement with her. She is back to work so at least he is hoping to get first right of refusal. Currently grandma is watching baby when mom goes out and works.
Mediation only works if both
Mediation only works if both parties are able to compromise and come to an agreement with each other.
In my situation with my DH and the BM mediation is just a big waste of time and money. DH has tried to compromise on things but BM wants it her way and that's it. She has actually thrown a tantrum during mediation and stormed out when DH didn't agree to all of her unreasonable demands. So in our situation mediation is pointless but required before every court hearing.
If your DH can communicate calmly with the BM and they can both compromise then mediation may work. If BM is unreasonable and only wants things her way then unless your DH does what she wants you will end up in court. My suggestion is to try to compromise and if she is unreasonable then don't just give in to what she demands because you don't want to end up in court. You will regret it in the future. If she's being unreasonable now then she's only going to get worse and DH needs to set her straight before its too late and she thinks she can control every aspect of your life.
Good luck with your situation. I hope things work out for you. I can't imagine being in a situation like yours. That would be so hard.