What custody agreement to judges favor for school aged children?
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I have joint custody with my ex we split the week and alternate weekends. Our youngest son is starting kindergarten this fall I want week on week off because the boys will be shifted too much during the school week. Dad wants to keep the same split week schedule. So we are going to let the judge decide. We live 10 miles apart.
If you could keep it from
If you could keep it from going to court, that would be best on everyone. As the mother, you may want to concead and say, "let's see how it goes until Thanksgiving break and go from there". But it's up to you. The more you can keep the peace and keep it out of court, the better for everyone.
My kids are ALWAYS with me on Mon and Tues and ALWAYS with their Dad on Thurs. We switch weekends and Wednesdays. They are with me a bit more than with him. Sometimes things get hectic and exH and I will need to bring things to the school that they may have left at one of our homes, but it works for the kids. We don't have to go long stretches without seeing the kids. We both stay involved. We both go to events during the other's parenting time. The kids just stay at different homes during different nights. My kids were 5,4 and 2 when we started this and they are now 13, 11 and 9. They know the schedule.
Just my two sense. Keep it out of court. Costs money that could be going to the family. If you give in now, with the understanding that it will be a test and you can both weigh back in later, it keeps things cordial.
I agree. Why would you let a
I agree. Why would you let a judge decide? You are better off each picking your 3 smartest friends, and stating your case to them and letting them vote by secret ballot. Seriously.
With my ex we do mon tues
With my ex we do mon tues with him and wed thurs with me and alternate weekends. 5/2/2/5. It works but requires a lot more planning. My kids did well with it until sports. Now its probably at least weekly one of us is driving to drop of/pick up something that was forgot. Now, I am sure this would stop if we stopped the pick ups but I feel bad for them having to be so organized at a young age so I'm a sucker and so is their dad.
My kids for about 2 years (since 9 & 14)have wanted week on week off but ex wont budge. The nice thing is if they are invited somewhere on a monday they know to ask dad without checking a calendar.
I'm going to give you a
I'm going to give you a different answer than the other posters. I think it depends on the child.
My SD7 has always been 50/50 between my DW and her BioDad. From the time I met her (when she had just turned 3), to this past January, my DW had her M,Tu and her father had her W,Th - and weekends alternated.
Since DW and I got married I have suggested a week-to-week arrangement as I think the weekly stability would be good for SD7 (as she likely has ADHD - being tested this summer). Sd7 was getting increasingly poor grades, in trouble at school, and was very disruptive. Home behavior also was not great. DW agreed finally last year that we should try week-to-week and has been mentioning it to BioDad since last summer at least. BioDad would not agree, and SD7's behavior continued to be poor. Then BioDad's brother mentioned the same thing to him, and he finally called my DW and agreed to it.
We started week-to-week in January. Transitions between households happen on Sunday afternoon. After a two-week transition phase where things were a little rough, it has improved tenfold. SD7's behavior has been markedly better, and her grades have improved DRASTICALLY. She went from C+/B- territory to A/A- territory (though we see her grades slip a bit when she is at her dad's).
All parents are in agreement that being at each house for a whole week, without a transition during school has been highly beneficial for SD7.
Just our experience.