Will we win???
My husband and I have recently moved in his 10 yr. old daughter for the summer, or for longer if she decides to stay. The BM and my husband had an agreement to let her live with us if she chooses to. My step-daughter seems to really like it here and says that she doesn't want to go back home. We are going to give it until the end of July to make sure she still wants to. There has been suspected verbal abuse and witnessed physical abuse from the BM's fiance'. We have the BM's step-dad (whom they all live with), the counselor, and teacher at school saying that it would be a good idea for her to live with her father. BM was in a really bad accident a few years back and has not been able to take care of her 3 children like she used to. She, her fiance', 13 yr. old son, 10 yr. old daughter(who lives with us at the moment), and 1 yr. old daughter live with her mother (who cares for the children mostly) and step-father. If we refuse to take her back home at the end of the summer, what kind of trouble will my husband get into?? There was never a custody battle, or anything in writing about custody. As far as he knows, they have shared custody. Could he get in trouble for kidnapping?? :?
We went through a similar
We went through a similar situation with my daughter wanting to go live with her father. Unless there are papers making the change I would give her back, however if there is a question of abuse there I would contact SRS that way if your SD tells them what is happening you wouldn't have to give her back if she reveals that, then you could go through the process of filing for custody since there would be an "abuse report" (only if your daughter is stating this) but I am sure it might be a battle down the road.
Knowledge
First you need to determine exactly what the divorce decree says.
Go to the county courthouse where the divorce took place and ask to see the file on his divorce. Its normally public information but call ahead to be sure. He may have to be there personally. Then copy the final decree of divorce and anything else that pertains to child custody and visitation.
Follow the court order, whatever it may be, to the final period. By failing to obey the order your husband leaves himself open to jail and it will definitely interfere with future requests of the court.
Meanwhile you can, you may need an attorney, ask the court for shared custody with the primary residence being with Dad. Visitation should be spelled out.
OR: If you can get it in writing from the ex as to whatever both of them agree. A court does not care what the two of them do unless someone complains. I.e. your husband can keep the kid forever as long as his ex doesn't complain. But he needs to cover himself in case she gets mad in the future so get any agreement with her in writing. He should tell her that since its a "legal document" their signatures should be notarized. I prefer this method if the ex is willing. Appeal to her conscious that she can't properly care for the kid.
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There's an exception to everything I say.